Local spring break dilemmas: solved!

By Hannah Hess

TELLURIDE, Colo.

Your Spring Break Dilemma: That bod is nowhere near beach-ready. Midterm reviews leave you cracking books in the library, not sculpting your guns at CRCE. With your nose glued to the pages, there has been little time to tan your pasty mug under artificial rays.

Solution: Trade skimpy string bikinis and Speedos for snow pants and skis on the slopes in Telluride, Colo. Snowfall is plentiful in the isolated resort town each March, even though daytime temperatures often climb to 50 degrees. Cutting through fresh powder on the majestic peaks of the San Juan Mountains is only part of the thrill in the southwestern Colorado resort. Tourists need to take in stunning Bridal Veil Falls, one of the largest free-falling waterfalls in Colorado. Another stunner worth keeping an eye out for in Telluride is Suri Cruise. Tom and Katie call the cold-weather paradise home along with a few other celeb neighbors. You never know who you will encounter while wasting away your nights on a bar stool in one of Telluride’s relaxed taverns or saloons. Lodging is another venture from mainstream – the historic town contains no chain hotels, but scores of intimate inns. Chances are, you won’t have any trouble meeting some college snow bunnies on the slopes that want to share your suite. The frosty town has become a hot spot for spring breakers in recent years.

VEGAS, BABY!

Your Spring Break Dilemma: All the earnings you raked in over winter break are giving you a third-degree burn through your pocket. You’re looking to make some wild spring break memories, and money is no object.

Solution: Empty those padded pockets next to other high rollers Vegas-style, baby. The strip offers up world-class glitz, outrageous shopping and fine dining from the kitchens of many famous chefs. You should probably dole out the dough for tickets, front row of course, to the many best-selling shows on stages around the city. Try Cirque du Soleil, Blue Man Group or a naughtier performance like Greg Thompson’s “Erocktica Live!,” which turns out sexy productions for Playboy and HBO. If you’ve got triple X tastes in Vegas and you’re willing to pay top dollar, just about anything goes. What if you’re feeling risque in another sense? Step up to a casino table or slot machine for some expensive thrills. Sin City does have some free attractions, in case your gambling turns devilish. The choreographed water and light show from the Fountains at Bellagio won’t make a dent in your wallet, which is a rarity among the bright lights of the big city. There is no scarcity of clubs to hop, but long lines can be jumped if you are willing to splurge on a VIP pass. Just don’t gamble away the funds you need to make it back for finals!

PANAMA CITY BEACH

Your Spring Break Dilemma: Shaking your booty on the poles at Joe’s has brought you none of the stardom you deserve. You’re on the verge of busting into the limelight. You just need to find a spring break destination where you can be discovered.

Solution: Flaunt it for the cameras on Panama City Beach in Florida. Sandy beaches and balmy waves make the MTV Spring Break locale an ideal spot to see and be seen. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to party with personalities you’re usually only watching on the small screen. Paramore, Panic at the Disco and Lupe Fiasco will all stir up the sand with live concerts this year. Competitive partiers may feel like battling it out in wet T-shirts or whipped cream. But remember your classmates, parents and grammar school teachers are only a click-of-the-remote from the beach. Ocean-front resorts and condos can get pricey, but most are rented on a per-room, not per-person basis, so it’s wise to cram your quarters to max capacity. After all, between parties, clubs and concerts, it’s unlikely you’ll be worried about sleep. Accommodations and travel can get expensive, but you are sure to enjoy plenty of give-aways along the Florida coast. Marketers and promoters from around the world will be pushing promotional prizes and giveaways. Between drinking, sunning and co-ed recreation, MTV Spring Break getaways pose some serious health hazards. Head South with plenty of sunscreen and bring some Advil for the trip home!