Caps and wedding gowns

By Missy Smith

In the April 30 edition of The Daily Illini, the article titled “Caps and wedding gowns” quoted “Colleen Kelly.” The student’s name is actually Colleen Kelley.

The Daily Illini regrets this error.

The following is the story as it appeared that day.

The sun shines down on the congregation – the guests are getting anxious because summer in Illinois has finally arrived and the midday heat has begun to take effect. Looking around, the guests faces show a full range of emotion: some are excited, others are scared, and still others are unsure what the future will bring.

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Graduation went by without a hitch – the speaker was a little dull, and the ceremony dragged on a little long, but everyone looked so happy and excited to start their lives. Now, all the faces are beaming with smiles, but there are shadows of doubt; not because the crowd is unsure the young couple loves each other, but because they have heard all the statistics and are scared that getting married right out of college may not be the right idea.

But it feels right, so it must be right. right?

The sad fact is that the divorce rate in the United States is one of the highest in the world, reaching almost 50 percent, according to the 2005 report “The State of Our Unions.” Despite the pessimistic odds, some members of the Champaign-Urbana community are choosing to get married, and get married young.

Kali Crouch, senior in LAS, said she cannot wait to get married in July. She said she believes her and her fiance’s love is real, but she knows the statistics of marriage and divorce in the U.S. are still intimidating.

“The statistics scare me,” Crouch said. “Statistics for marriage and divorce are high in general, and getting married young just makes them higher, but I feel like this is right for me. I wouldn’t want to put this feeling off any longer than I have to, because I don’t think I would feel different later on. I would be just as scared if I was 27 or 28 as I am now.”

Crouch said this relationship was different than anything else she had experienced, and that the couple’s experiences have bonded them together. She said she thinks her relationship is what it should feel like when a person finds the one he or she wants to spend the rest of their life with.

Colleen Kelly, senior in LAS, knew after her fiancé proposed to her that they would get married this summer. She said she is not as scared of getting married as she is graduating and finding a job. Still, since they have experienced all of the ups and downs normal couples do, Kelly is confident that things will work out for the best.

“I was worried about us because of some difficult times we were going through,” Kelly said. “I told him that I was scared, and that sometimes I wondered if it was supposed to be a sign that we are not supposed to be together. I will never forget, he said to me, ‘The most important thing is if we can make it through the tough times together, then we are supposed to be together.'”

Afterward, Kelly said this thought allowed her to see the good in their relationship, and acted as an indication of things to come. When Michael proposed to her last November, she never hesitated to say yes, even though they were so young.

“I think that a lot of times people put off marriage because they want to avoid commitment,” Kelly said. “This kind of commitment early on is a sign that you are ready to give up yourself completely to be with another person. If you know you are, and you are ready to spend the rest of your life with someone, then why put it off? Just go ahead and get married!”

Elise Holmes, senior in FAA, would agree with Kelly that getting married young is not as crazy as most people think. Holmes said she knew a long time ago that she and her fiancé’s lives were headed in the same direction, and age has nothing to do with that. In fact, they had both grown up in families that married young: Zach’s parents married when they were only 20 years old, whereas Holmes’ parents married when they were 24.

“Our parents are really good with talking about things that were difficult for them when they were young in a way that is really supportive,” Holmes said. “Our parents’ main concern is that we are not financially secure, but they know we are realistic about our situation. We are excited about getting married, and will be in the honeymooner’s stage for a while, but we know it will wear off and life will be stressful.”

Holmes said she is worried about what will happen when reality sets in, but because they started out as best friends, they have already learned how to handle each other when they get irritable.

“I am an architecture student, so I am pretty much stressed out all the time,” Holmes said. “Zach has learned to help me deal with that, so maybe it sounds na’ve, or overly optimistic, but I am pretty sure we will be okay.”

Holmes said they have a similar belief system that holds them together, similar to another couple on campus who were recently engaged just this past March, in front of the altar at St. John’s Cathedral on Easter Sunday.

Craig Tepen, senior in ACES, and Laura Rayman, junior in LAS, had only been dating for a month and a half when Craig brought up the idea of getting married. After a few more weeks, Rayman came around to the idea because she said the relationship felt right and was different than any in the past.

“I feel like I don’t deserve it,” Rayman said. “I was single and liking boys and having them break my heart and I was scared I would never get married when Craig came out of the blue. It was just as things were never working out when a month later I realized it was Craig. I was terrified because when enough bad things happen to you, you start to doubt and be scared, but it ended up being perfect.”

Although it started out perfect, Tepen and Rayman have their problems just as other couples do. The only difference, they said, is at the end of the day, they realize that they still love each other and let the little things go.

“I just have faith that no matter what, nothing will shake our relationship,” Rayman said. “I don’t know how many people are that lucky.”