Column: The skinny on celeb fashion news

And now, a look at the latest news in fashion. Well, it may not be the absolute latest news, but it’s pretty new.

First, let’s start with who was voted among the best and worst dressed at the Oscars, according to TV Guide Network. Despite the annoying scroll-down menu for TV programming, it’s hard to look away from TV Guide when Lisa Rinna and Nick Verreos (“Project Runway”) are doing the fashion wrap-up after seemingly taking speed and chugging can after can of Red Bull (they are just a leewetle bit hyper).

These are their picks that I disagree with the most. One of the nominations for worst dressed was Miley Cyrus in her Zuhair Murhad belted gown. A lot of people agreed with TV Guide that Miley was one of the worst dressed at the Oscars, but I loved her dress. Yeah, it was a bit unusual, but it really was age-appropriate and so much fun with all of the beading and the cute belt. And while some people were scandalized by Miley’s cleavage, I think it’s important to note that most 16-year-old girls have boobs and hers were not outrageous by any means, they just weren’t completely covered.

Plus, the fact that Lisa Rinna was shocked by Miley’s cleavage is quite amusing considering her dress of choice for the SAG Awards was a little red number with a slit that opened up to show off her Brazilian wax job (I’m not kidding, go look it up).

One of their choices for best dressed for guys was Robert Pattinson, of “Twilight” fame, who admittedly looked sharp from the neck down, but who apparently did not think the Oscars were a good enough reason to shave. I mean, it’s the freaking Oscars! I understand that he has cultivated the scruffy, “rugged” look, but shame on you all the same, you sexy man. And, please, for the love of all that is good and holy, fix your hair.

They also disliked Freida Pinto’s deep blue John Galliano dress, which is just wrong. Admittedly, the dress surprised me because I’m really not a huge fan of the one-sleeve thing that everyone seems to be doing, but I thought it was fantastic. I loved how it was reminiscent of a sari and I think she is way too gorgeous to ever look horrible. What really amused me was when Nick said that the color of the dress was “too sublime” for her, at which point my roommate and I exchanged looks that said, “Did he really just confuse ‘sublime’ with ‘subdued’? Doesn’t ‘sublime’ mean perfect and ideal? That’s embarrassing.” Plus, the color was a brilliant shade of blue, so Nick might also be a tad bit color-blind, probably not the best condition for a fashion designer, unless he plans on working with a monochromatic color palette for the rest of his life.

Moving on. In non-Oscar fashion news, LiLo (Lindsay Lohan for those of you who don’t adore shortening celebrity names as I do) is all over the news once again for her shockingly skinny appearance. Famous fashion photographer Hedi Slimane recently did a photo shoot with the scantily clad actress that shows her in all of her skin-and-bones glory.

Lindsay wore little in the way of a top (unless you count long, strategically placed hair as a top) and tight jeans that showed off her tiny waist. And I do mean tiny. The girl looks like she hasn’t eaten in months and I’m pretty sure that even the thought of cramming a Big Mac in her mouth would cause Lindsay to instantly shed another 5 pounds.

The weird thing, though, is her boobs, which remain disproportionately large despite the fact that she can’t weigh more than 100 pounds.

All I can say is, I used to believe you when you said you didn’t have implants, but I’m fairly certain your figure is physically impossible without any surgical enhancement. Unless it’s the coke that’s done this to you. Be sure to check out hedislimane.com to see LiLo’s impersonation of a holocaust victim.

Finally, Halle Berry’s new fragrance hits stores this week, but can it out-sell the recently launched Jenna Jameson fragrance?

I’m thinking yes, because most people don’t want to smell like a porn star. What does a porn star even smell like? I’m guessing a mixture of baby oil, KY Jelly and penicillin.

Colleen is a senior in Media who wants to point out that this week’s column has a lot of mentions of celebrity boobs, well, at least more than usual. She can be reached at [email protected]