The Daily Illini

The most outlandish crimes of the semester

By Yasmeen Ragab, Staff Writer

Some of the police blotters that stood out this semester included paintball shootings, ejaculation into condoms, numerous instances of usage of counterfeit bills and a chicken “running at-large.”

Here is a recap of a few of the strangest police blotters of the fall semester.


Aggravated battery was reported in the 1200 block of North Mattis Avenue around 10:30 p.m. on Sept. 7. According to the report, the offender shot the victim with a paintball gun, but they had yet to be located or identified.

Disorderly conduct was reported in the 2100 block of West White Street around 2 p.m. on Oct. 30. According to the report, an unknown male was suspected of walking into an empty apartment and ejaculating into condoms.

Criminal damage to property was reported in the 300 block of West Eureka Street around 10:30 p.m. on Oct. 9. According to the report, an unknown offender threw a lawn decoration through the victim’s front window.

A case involving deceptive practices was reported at Dress Barn, 1901 N. Market St., around 6:30 p.m. on Oct. 12. According to the report, the offender entered the store and paid for items using a counterfeit bill.

A case involving deceptive practices was also reported at Spirit Halloween, located at 115 Convenience Center Road, around 7 p.m. on Oct. 12. According to the report, the offender went into the store and passed a $100 bill to make a purchase. It was later determined that the bill was counterfeit.


A University student reported herself to be a victim of “deceptive practices” at 5:30 p.m. on Aug. 28. According to the report, the student received a call from an unknown person claiming to be an IRS agent. The caller demanded $600 worth of digital music gift cards.

Theft was reported at the Illini Union Bookstore, 809 S. Wright St. around 7:30 p.m. on Oct. 16. According to the report, the 18-year-old male offender was issued an NTA after store security called police after seeing the offender attempt to leave the store without paying for pens.

A disturbance was reported on the corner of Fourth Street and Peabody Avenue early morning on Nov. 1. According to the report, a student was walking down the street when he was struck in the head by a paintball shot from a moving vehicle. A separate incident involving being struck by paintballs was reported on the 1400 block of West Gregory Drive in Urbana around 2 a.m. on Nov. 1.


Theft was reported in the 1300 block of North Lincoln Avenue around 2 a.m. Thursday, Oct. 26. According to the report, unknown offenders took delivery food without paying the driver.

A student reported that someone had entered his apartment without permission in the 1800 block of South Orchard Street in Urbana.

The person stood near his bed while he was sleeping, around 6 a.m. on Nov. 18. The offender left the apartment when the victim woke up, according to a Campus Safety Notice sent out by the University of Illinois Police Department on Nov. 20.

A red chicken was reported as “running at-large” in the 400 block of University Avenue around 3:30 p.m on Dec. 6. According to the report, the chicken was subsequently apprehended and transported to the University veterinarian for medical treatment.

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