Opinion column: For what it’s worth

By Wayne Ma

(Ed. note: This is part two of a two-part series in a freshman’s look ahead and a senior’s look back at college.)

By the time I graduate in December, I’ll only have been on campus for a total of four semesters. Looking back, one might think I tried my hardest to spend as little time as possible attending the University. There was that sophomore year I spent abroad in South Africa, writing touchy-feely columns about poverty and global issues; getting stung by poisonous jellyfish; accidentally setting my room on fire and being pulled over by corrupt policemen in Zimbabwe. Then there was the junior semester I spent interning at the U.S. Department of Homeland Security in Washington, swamped in paperwork and bureaucracy, trying hard to remember why government employment was once appealing, while staring at wall-hung portraits of President Bush and Secretary Tom Ridge smiling bizarrely at me.

To be honest, those who believe I tried to avoid this campus aren’t too far off. There was a time when I felt going to a smaller, more-cultured institution would have been better. Then I realized that as long as alcohol existed, no institution really would be “more cultured.”

The truth is, I don’t have any more doubts about attending the University. From the sandy coasts of Mozambique to the black-tie dinners in Washington, I’ve seen and done more than I ever thought was possible as a freshman.

Therefore, my clich‚d statement of the week is that college is what you make of it. I took advantage of everything the University had to offer, and the University didn’t limit my ability to achieve.

Get The Daily Illini in your inbox!

  • Catch the latest on University of Illinois news, sports, and more. Delivered every weekday.
  • Stay up to date on all things Illini sports. Delivered every Monday.
Thank you for subscribing!

In fact, it probably helped move my goals further along. From my involvement with The Daily Illini to the programs offered by the international studies and political science departments, I was able to carve out a unique experience, one tailored to my skills and interests.

And that’s what college is all about: Doing your own thing. When I first came to the University, the pressure was enormous. Not the academic pressure, mind you, but the social pressure. Coming from home – where you’ve had years to establish all your friends; all the things that make you happy; all the motivations you have for waking up in the morning – and then being thrown into a new environment was rough.

As a result, I wasn’t too shocked when I found myself in the waiting room of the Counseling Center spring semester of my freshman year, wondering why I was losing the motivation to attend classes or stay alive for that matter. I had nothing to hold on to. Absolutely nothing. The fact that I came to the University with nothing and now have something is proof enough that it’s possible to find purpose and direction in college.

Yes, the social and academic pressures can be overwhelming, but being a senior means I’ve had three years to develop solid coping skills. By now, I’ve established my niche on campus, and the pressure to socialize isn’t so daunting or crucial. And while I never will have everything figured out,I at least have some idea of my place in the universe, and the role I play as a student, professional and individual.

If I’ve learned anything from my time here on (or off) campus, it will be that it’s necessary to make lots of mistakes. I, for one, have made an ungodly number of miscalculations these past three years. Whether it’s been career choices, relationship choices or academic choices, I’ve probably caused my fair share of hardship, and it’s been a theme I’ve returned to again and again in some of my more-unorthodox columns. But these errors and regrets have shaped who I am today. Without making these specific choices, who knows where I would have ended up? Well, perhaps I still would be in the college of engineering.

So there you have it. My two cents on this institution, and the somewhat unconventional path I took to arrive at my most-current identity. Sometimes it was fun, and other times it was, well, horrible. But regardless, it was worth it – and I don’t just mean the tuition.

Wayne Ma is a senior in LAS. He is the opinions editor. He can be reached at [email protected]