When we were little, nothing quite matched the excitement of a classmate celebrating his or her birthday at school. Little Catherine’s mom would bake some cookies or supply her with a few bags of Snickers bars to pass out to everyone sitting at their desks. In honor of his special day, Danny boy would bring in cake or some Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Ah yes, the memories.

Well, the era of cupcakes in classrooms might be coming to an end. A number of school districts have already outlawed student birthday celebrations, and even more have eliminated vending machines from cafeterias.

For Meredith Roth, the mother of one New Jersey kindergartner, the concept of sweets at school has gone too far. After her son was exposed to the horrors of doughnuts, Twinkies and Starburst, she called on the administration to halt the offering of birthday confections not only to her own son, but to every single student in the school. Her reasoning? She says the amount of food brought into the school is “excessive” and adds to the growing obesity problem in young children.

While it’s nice Ms. Roth is looking out for the health of her own child, she needs to keep her nose out of other people’s business. Parents don’t want to be told how to raise their own children – especially from someone who appears to be a self-titled child health expert. If you really don’t want your son eating candy at school, tell him not to. Don’t make those who have normal parents suffer, too.

Yet, parents aren’t the only problem. Many physical education programs are cut when money gets tight. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), elementary school children should get 150 minutes of exercise per week, and junior high and high school kids should get 225 minutes every week. However, a recent survey shows that only 29 percent of students nationwide even attend a daily physical education class.

So, instead of eliminating soda machines, why not overhaul P.E.? In many poorer school districts, this might be easier said than done because when the cash runs low, books will come before basketballs. But in more well-to-do areas, this shouldn’t be a problem.

I was lucky enough to attend a fairly affluent grade school and seem to remember experiencing a pretty demanding P.E. curriculum. But it’s not the same situation today for my seventh-grade brother. This winter, he and his classmates were forced into a month-long unit in walking. Yep. Walking. For 25-30 minutes a day, they walked around the gymnasium and hallways of the school.

How strenuous.

I’m sorry, but how did the individual who came up with this idea get a teaching job? Whatever happened to good, old-fashioned dodge ball? Sure, the nerdy kids sometimes got their glasses broken, and the fat kid usually took a pretty brutal beating, but the game certainly gets the blood pumping and burns more calories than a leisurely stroll through the junior high wing.

As an alternative for citing a lack of physical activity, irresponsible parents who can’t control the caloric intake of their chunky children decide to sue restaurants like McDonald’s, and demand the removal of vending machines in school cafeterias.

Instead of eradicating so-called unhealthy foods, schools should offer classes to better educate students on the potential dangers of these foods in addition to implementing a more challenging P.E. curriculum. We learned about narcotics in health class, so why not saturated fat? Last time I checked, sugars and fats have a place in the food pyramid, too.

But this will only help if the parents cooperate. They’re the ones who are ultimately responsible for their children’s well-being. How about cooking healthy meals at home and signing the youngsters up for tennis lessons? Don’t start pointing the finger at other people because your kid is starting to look like Eric Cartman.

So next time your not-so-little Peggy Sue waddles up for a third helping of corned beef hash, it might be time to sit back and help yourself to your first dose of reality.