Having a child is often a complex and stressful experience. Parents have to buy baby clothes, new furniture and come up with a name for their child. Many regular Americans choose to name their children after a grandparent or themselves. Others consult baby books for possible names to give their child. Recent famous parents, however, seem to want to give their children ridiculous first names that will embarrass them for life.

While John Travolta and his wife Kelly Preston may have started the annoying trend of naming their child after an inanimate object (Jett), the droves of celebrities following suit are absolutely baffling. Just this week, Soleil Moon Frye, child star of 1980s TV show Punky Brewster, has decided to name her child Poet Sienna Rose – and that doesn’t even include the child’s last name, which happens to be Goldberg. How that kid will ever know how to fill out the name section in standardized tests is beyond me. Other names given to children of celebrities include Apple, Rainbow, Pirate and Camera – and those are the tame ones. Don’t even get me started on why former INXS front man Michael Hutchence decided to name his child Heavenly Hirrani Tiger Lily.

Maybe I am just old-fashioned, but whatever happened to normal names like Matthew and Sarah? I don’t even mind the most recent wave of mildly strange names that have become popular like Logan, Dylan, Kayla and Chloe. I understand that some parents feel that their child is special, so they want to give their child an uncommon name. It is also a fair point to say that it would be annoying to have five Megans in a third-grade classroom, but some people have taken it way too far.

Why do celebrities feel the need to give their children names that are completely off the wall? Is it because they are just so artsy and creative that they couldn’t fathom the thought of giving their child a normal name? What it all comes down to is fame and exposure. Everyone was talking about Gwyneth Paltrow when she decided to name her child after a fruit. The same thing happened when John Cougar Mellencamp named his son Speck Wildhorse. How many people would be talking about a former child star if that person didn’t give his/her child an absolutely ridiculous name? Heck, I know that I wouldn’t be writing this column if it weren’t for her little publicity stunt. Comedian Kathy Griffin put it perfectly when she said, “It’s better to be on the worst dressed list than no list at all.” Having people talk about your newborn’s crazy name is better than being completely off the radar.

People in Hollywood will pull just about any stunt to get people talking about them. While some of these stunts are amusing and downright hilarious, giving your child some wacky name just to be in the spotlight for a little longer is not only dumb and self-indulgent, but cruel as well. These children will never be normal. In addition to being constantly bothered by strangers and paparazzi in public, the children do not need to stand out completely for the rest of their lives just because their parents wanted to be different and hip. These children are born into atypical lives; let them attempt to blend in at school with the Jonathans and the Ashleys. When they grow up and attempt to have normal jobs, they always will be known as the child of a celebrity or the girl/guy with the weird name at the office.

Angela Hayes, played by Mena Suvari in the motion picture American Beauty, said, “I don’t think that there’s anything worse than being ordinary.” While this may be the truth for many regular people trying to find fame, it is not true for people who have grown up in the spotlight. In some cases, it’s the exact opposite.