Singlehood no reason to worry

By Brian Mellen

People say I look like Brad Pitt. Just look at the absolutely charming picture above my column. You know you agree. OK, maybe I lied and no one’s ever compared me to Brad Pitt. Maybe my face bears little to no resemblance to Mr. Pitt’s features and maybe my head is far too large to even put us in the same category – period. I’ve pretty much heard every joke about my last name in relation to my head size, so try me. However, at the very least can we agree that Pitt and I have similar cheekbones? Unfortunately, to all the potential Jen’s and Angie’s out there who are single and ready to mingle, I’m perfectly content not being involved with anyone right now.

Just last Tuesday was Valentine’s Day, an obviously fun day for those in a relationship but a sobering reminder to those who don’t have a companion of their current relationship status. For some single people disillusioned with the whole dating scene, this day could more appropriately be called “Dismal and Lonely Existence Day” or perhaps for guys on campus the “Go to Cly’s to See Girls In Lingerie Extravaganza.” Tuesday at Cly’s was the night to see half-naked girls in a bar for the small fee of waiting in line for a couple hours, only to be charged cover above the usual amount. Whatever other names you’d like to call Valentine’s Day, pressure to find someone special occurs throughout the year and not just on the 14th of February. And this campus is not unaffected by that pressure.

Some students are genuinely bothered by the fact that they don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend. While I can’t speak for everyone, for a time it bothered me. To singles it seems like everyone has someone. Even that kid you think is a complete dork in your English class and couldn’t possibly have any game found himself a girl. This pressure stems from what society says is normal. People see others on campus with partners and put pressure on themselves – sometimes there’s even pressure from parents.

As the second semester to my junior year rolls around I’ve begun to realize I need to start thinking about life after senior year. I was talking with a friend about life after college one day and he mentioned something that struck me as weird. He mentioned that as college starts to draw to a close for the class of 2007, people are going to try to pair off so they don’t have to go into the real world alone. The weird part wasn’t that I disagreed; it’s that it is very likely some will try to find someone before they leave. After all, you’ll never find as many people your age concentrated in one area than a college campus. It will only get harder in the real world. However, sorry to say, very few people achieve the American Dream of a wife, a couple of kids, a nice house and car right out of college.

Contrary to misconceptions, odds are you will not meet your future wife or husband in college. According to the Census taken in America in 2000 by the U.S. Census Bureau, only about 2% of the population is married between the ages of 20-24. In the last decade the median age for marriage has risen by one year to 26.7 years for men and 25.1 years for women. You’ve probably got little while, so why worry now?

Concentrate more on school. Have fun with friends and be open to meeting new people. Have faith that the rest takes care of itself. My brother put it best when he told me his philosophical perspective on relationships, “You’ll never find it if you’re looking for it.” He’s got a point. It’ll happen when it happens. Of course, if you look like Brad Pitt, it may happen a little faster.

Brian Mellen is a junior in Communications. His column appears on Fridays. He can be reached at [email protected]