One of the T-shirts sold by the Feminist Majority for Sex Out Loud reads “My Vibrator is My Best Friend.”

This T-shirt perfectly describes the destructive power that this brand of feminism has had on women. Women have been left so handicapped that not only do they not relate to men, but they don’t relate to women and are left with their most intimate companion being a piece of plastic and some batteries. Good game.

This year’s Sex Out Loud features an excerpt from that perennial celebration of man-hate, the Vagina Monologues. Undoubtedly, the excerpt will not be “The Little Coochie Snorcher That Could,” a scene that celebrates an older woman getting a 13-year-old drunk and raping her. That rape is described as “a good rape.” Later versions of the play whitewashed that scene because it was deemed not conducive to the feminist cause.

Here’s a thought: don’t run the play because child rape is immoral even when it’s lesbian rape.

The event will run all day, but don’t worry about going hungry. There will be plenty of chocolate genitals to be consumed.

This apt choice of food demonstrates clearly what they think about sex. Sex is a commodity to be devoured, discarding the wrapper of the other person’s hopes, dreams, personality and identity. Once digested, the encounter is forgotten, one gets hungry, another candy is desired and the cycle repeats.

It celebrates sex without all the “baggage” – actually accepting and loving a person for more than their bedroom abilities. Or, for that matter, even knowing their name.

This year features a BDSM booth, because nothing says “I love you” quite like coprophilia. Previous years have had a large vagina and this year features a vulva-coloring contest. The feminist obsession with genitals seems odd to those who think feminism is about liberating women to pursue careers and dreams previously closed to them on the account of their gender.

It is particularly ironic that while women haven’t always been able to be doctors, the sex industry is the only industry that has never been closed to women. What misogynists have been unable to accomplish in centuries, the feminist movement has accomplished in decades.

Don’t take my word for it, listen to Megan Kough, president of the Feminist Majority. She describes feminism and liberation as consisting “of (women) being able to have sex out of their own free will when and how they want with no social or legal repercussions,” and characterizes her group by saying, “Our main focus is sex.” Their main focus is a sex that satiates but does not satisfy.

There are those who believe that women have more dignity. While this event goes on, the Catholic Church will be celebrating Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent. Lent is a season where, among other things, Catholics recommit themselves to the dignity to which they are called and look to the examples of those who went before.

The women celebrated by the church have founded hospitals, fed and cared for the poor, and influenced entire nations for the better. Far from being obsessed with the latest sex toys, they were too busy changing the world. They were lawyers, doctors, nurses, mothers, nuns and wives. They were the proto-feminists, showing the world that women, far from being mere playthings, were capable of great and heroic acts. Women are far more than just their anatomy.

Joan of Arc rallied her countrymen to battle in defense of her homeland. Catherine of Siena is recognized for great theological contributions to the church and exerted great influence over the Pope in her time.

There’s Monica, whose motherly love produced one of the greatest bishops of the church, Augustine. Princess Elizabeth of Hungary not only built hospitals but tended to the sick herself. The Blessed Virgin Mary needs no summary.

While the Feminist Majority celebrates that women are little more than orifices, there are still those who do not see them as commodities to be consumed and discarded.

Women should be valued for their extensive and varied abilities, not for an ability to operate a dildo.

John Bambenek is a graduate student and academic professional at the University. He does not celebrate debauchery. He can be reached at [email protected].