Column: He-man Triple Texas Bacon Roundhouse Kick Whopper

By Erin Naing

Men of the world, I come with a warning most dire. A pink, strawberry-scented cloud of pure unmanliness has descended upon the world and threatens to turn your outie into an innie (if you catch my drift). But fear not, for Burger King and Miller Lite are here to free you from your impeccably groomed metrosexual shackles and turn the tide in the war between the sexes.

Imagine a stereotypical city street filled with men dancing to perfect choreography and singing “I am man, hear me roar” while eating the latest Burger King burger. Now imagine a group of four guys sitting in a TGI Friday’s holding up their food proudly while yelling out, “meat!” It all sounds pretty gay, right? But according to Time Magazine, these two commercials are just a couple examples of what they dub “The Manissance.”

We are being constantly inundated by advertisements, books, movies and more telling us that “meat is good” or “personal hygiene is for homosexuals.” But what some may not see is that, more than just celebrating the stereotype of manliness, these advertisements send the message that women and anything associated with them are completely abhorrent.

Under the seemingly good natured jokes about manliness is a very real and very dangerous message about women and ownership. Look at the Burger King “I am man” commercial. Near the end, an older man pulling a dump truck that is chained to him is walking toward an attractive woman wearing skin-tight pink nylons holding the infamous Texas Double Whopper. To that old man and to the viewers of the commercial, that woman and the burger are one and the same. Both are there solely to be consumed by men.

This message turns up repeatedly in advertisements. Remember the ad where a soapy, bikini-clad Paris Hilton straddles a luxury car while eating a burger? That ad served the dual purpose of labeling Ms. Hilton as consumable meat and sexualizing the burger. Even the Miller Lite “Man Laws” commercials label women as property. In one, a debate over what to do if a friend carrying your beer puts his finger in it results in the man law “you poke it, you own it.” Considering that “poke” is slang for “to have sex with,” it wouldn’t take a linguistics major to see that “you poke it, you own it” applies to both beer and women.

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Aside from being profoundly hurtful to women, these advertisements are also deeply insulting to men. Men are being told that in order to not be a woman, they must do and purchase everything advertisers tell them to. And often times this includes living an unhealthily lifestyle, not being socially conscious and celebrating stupidity.

In this so-called “manissance” the old adage “you are what you eat” becomes “you are what I eat.” Viewing women as property is certainly not manly. And if you ask me, the Texas Double Whopper sounds more like gay porn than a hamburger.