Last semester, I had the privilege of studying abroad in the land of the Scots and I did it all. I hiked to the ruins of medieval castles, downed many a pint at the pub, attempted to decode Scottish slang and laughed at drunken guys in kilts who wanted to fight someone, anyone, for no apparent reason. I have returned to America with just one major regret: after a third of a year there, I only have one Scottish friend.

No, I’m not a loser. I was merely part of a large bubble of international exchange students who found themselves utterly dismayed at the difficulties they experienced as they tried to form genuine, lasting friendships with permanent residents of their host country. And as students at a university that receives nearly 300 international exchange students each year, I beg of you: help them from falling into the same trap.

Each year, the UIUC Study Abroad Office makes a valiant effort to welcome international exchange students to the University and help them adjust to their new surroundings (I swear I’m not their minister of propaganda.) Like the study abroad staff at my university in Scotland, their team offers personal counsel and boatloads of resources to acquaint justifiably bewildered international students with campus organizations, athletic clubs and local attractions that can add a certain degree of flavor to their semester or year in the United States.

What they can’t directly provide, however, are authentic relationships with American students who can provide a much more meaningful understanding of life in the United States than the most brilliantly written “All You Need to Know!” pamphlet or flawlessly choreographed orientation program.

At the beginning of my Scottish semester, I remember how tempting it was to stay with so many American students and other international exchangers. We were all eagerly seeking a sense of comfort and familiarity to stick together and to rely on each other as our primary source of social life. I was particularly stunned by what amounted to a legion upwards of 30 California students who seemed to do almost everything together.

It’s obviously more difficult to feel homesick when you’re attending American theme parties (white trash night, guys!) or commiserating over the local shortage of Starbucks.

I imagine many, if not most of the incoming exchange students at this University will encounter a similar opportunity to drown themselves in familiarity. But studying abroad cannot just be a series of therapy sessions.

It’s intimidating to try to find a comfortable niche among groups of friends who are permanent residents of your host country. They share memories and inside jokes that predate your arrival and are likely to outlast your departure. But the initial feelings of awkwardness are a meager price to pay for companions who will introduce you to a truly different way of life, a worldview that challenges your own or even a food or drink that you wouldn’t have back home.

I learned that lesson from having just one good Scottish friend and a few acquaintances. The experience is mutually beneficial. When you reach out to an international exchange student here at the University, you are engaging in a reciprocal relationship that will offer new spices to both of your racks.

Ultimately, the responsibility to meet and befriend American students here at the University of Illinois will fall on the exchangers but you can certainly help them along the way. If you meet someone at a club meeting, in your class or at the bar who is studying abroad open your mind to getting to know him or her better.

Take them out with your friends or to your favorite coffee shop but for the love of Christ, don’t make it a charity case. The ability to see through people is universal. View it as an opportunity to develop and to help someone else do the same. Few things in life can match that sort of opportunity – not even a soy vanilla latte.