IOWA CITY, Iowa – The Democratic primary season seems to have more boobs than a Paul Verhoeven movie. Also, female breasts have featured prominently. Sorry, that joke kind of had to happen.

By now, you’ve all heard about the “Obama girl” video that – in the grand tradition of the dramatic prairie dog and Will Farrell as President Bush – made an enormous, if momentary splash on YouTube. Now, although I could go on for full pages about the glories of YouTube, which has gripped society like nothing since the black monolith in 2001, I have been instructed not to. (My idea to serialize such an opus on the front page was similarly quashed.)

Back to the Obama girl. Hillary Rodham Clinton fans have responded. Last weekend, “Hot for Hillary” made its debut. It’s just like the Obama video, with additional sapphic overtones and former “American Idol” contender Taryn Southern as the featured T and A. There’s even a “Debate ’08” video out there, featuring – duh – curvaceous women supporting Rudy Giuliani and Barack Obama. It’s kind of the debate equivalent of the fight scenes in West Side Story. With, of course, added boobs.

People blather on about “out-of-touch” politicians all the time, especially right-wing Republicans, who use the phrase as code for “likes gays” or “molests your children.” It’s part of the “values” playbook, and doesn’t mean a damn thing. I think that politicians are simply out of touch with mass culture, not “values.” Look how long it’s taken them to realize that sex and humor are far more effective advertising tools than earnest, apple-pie persiflage and tongue-clicking moralism!

Admittedly, the salacious videos were not the product of any actual political campaign, and the candidates themselves had nothing to do with them, though the Rodham Clinton campaign’s spoof of “The Sopranos” shows that campaign’s officials, at least, aren’t totally blind to the possibilities. But I’d be shocked if the videos with dancing girls didn’t have a more long-term impact on the way we absorb political speech. The other side of the coin, of course, is the “trashification” of politics. Silly, mindless fun is great for selling fast food and video games, but we need more than a good laugh to sell us on a president. There’s been an increasing shift from substance to style in American politics ever since Ronald Reagan got elected. He wasn’t the first president to shaft the country atrociously and then lie about it, but – and this is important – he was the first one to get away with it. People liked his folksy charm and didn’t much care that he lied almost continuously.

Ever since, the truth has been less and less important to voters, and the country has consequently suffered. People vote not for the candidate who they think would do a good job, they vote for the candidate whom they find the most likable. This trend may have started with the Republicans and Reagan, but Democrats and Bill Clinton continued it. We lucked out with Clinton, because he turned out to be a pretty good president, but it’s only gotten worse since then. Remember back in 2000, when we elected a nice guy from “Texas” president? How’s that working out for us?

There are two ways this campaign could go. The first would be to make politics serious again. We slap draconian funding regulations on political campaigns and see how the parties function when they’re answerable to the voters, rather than their backers. We make candidates participate in a grueling series of debates over every major issue and issue fact-checking report cards afterwards. Of course, it’ll never happen.

In reality, this campaign will be the same bizarre cavalcade of mudslinging and demagoguery that we’ve been seeing for years. The political girls of the Internet are merely the latest expression of the unadulterated strangeness of the American political campaign. I just wish I had some serious discussion of the issues to go with my attack ads and dancing girls.

As long as the “where’s the beef?” lady doesn’t show up in those videos, I’ll be fine.