When I lived in the residence halls, one of my friends, a girl, came and visited for the weekend. I had a few swimsuit posters up on my walls. One of the first things out of her mouth was, “I bet you masturbate a lot.” That is NOT the impression you want to make on girls as they first enter your room.

According to a credible female source, instead of nudey posters, you might want to try nice pictures of you and your mom. Maybe those ones from the mission trip to Appalachia, where you built houses for Habitat for Humanity. Or maybe pictures of you volunteering at a day camp with little kids. Girls go wild when they see you with little kids.

The idea is to make your room represent all the nice qualities about yourself that you are trying to project. What a girl wants in you are the same things she wants in your room. Your living space is a direct reflection of yourself. With that in mind, keep your room clean, hygienic and organized. And as far as the personality of the room, make it come off indifferent with a hint of masculinity about it.

Cleanliness is important. Girls are hard-wired against disorder. If a girl isn’t, she’s really not worth your time anyway. Why would you want to date Little Miss Piggy? Lure her in by being neat, polite, clean, and then, once she’s hooked, you can go back to being the sloppy jerk you were before. Let’s make those gender-based stereotypes work for us.

Oh yeah, video games are a huge turn-off for girls. Drinking lots of pop is kind of a turn-off, too. Pop is just empty calories. It makes you look noncommittal and flaky. I think those two things, video games and pop, go hand in hand. Seeing lots of pop cans and video controllers lying around, a girl is probably thinking, “This guy stays up really late playing video games. He probably masturbates a lot, too.”

Instead of video games, as far as other things to keep around, chick flicks are a good bet. Try to get ones that you like, too. I’m a big fan of Hugh Grant movies. Not only do I find him witty and charming, but I feel like more of a man in comparison when I watch him. “Notting Hill” is my favorite with “About a Boy” coming in a close second. “Love Actually” blew, but girls usually like it, so grabbing one at the “3 for $10” bin at the rental place might not be a bad idea.

Girls like guys who are hard-working. Show her that you study hard by keeping books open. Make your desk look like you were in the middle of studying and then had to suddenly run out to take care of something really noble and important. For example, like taking her out for ice cream when her cat dies, or volunteering at the home for abused women or the local homeless shelter.

Girls also like guys with money. I don’t have money. A good way to make yourself seem like you have money is to live with guys who do. Get them to buy the flat-screen TV and the state-of-the-art microwave. She won’t care who bought what when she’s gorging on her extra-butter popcorn and watching “Notting Hill” in HD.