A eulogy for my great uncle Max

By Lee Feder

For years I have been expecting the bad news. On April 24, 2008, it finally came. My great uncle, Max Feder, had finally passed away. He was somewhat more than 100 years old.

During those years as I watched his health fade, his mobility decrease and his mental acumen dull, I promised myself I would do everything possible to speak at his funeral. He had effectively been my grandfather, the only one I knew, and he was fantastic.

Uncle Max, as most called him, was one of those rare few who retained it all into old age. Only in the last four or five years did his health noticeably decline and his ability to converse like a younger person begin to fade. The slide was to be expected of a man in his 90s, but it was sad for all of his family, all of the people he had left, nonetheless.

Max Feder was a great man in so many ways. He immigrated to the U.S. in the interim between the World Wars from a disputed region in Europe with his brothers and sisters (all now several years deceased) where he married and divorced once. In his new land, he left his new home and new family to fight for the United States, his new country, in World War II. He served the duration with an anti-aircraft unit in France. He never looked back or asked for thanks and rarely, if ever, spoke of his tour. Part of the greatest generation of Americans, his humility was only surpassed by his honor.

Divorced and decades returned from the war, Uncle Max became a family man for two generations. He was an uncle to many including my father, and later my mother, as well as his own sister’s two daughters. As that generation grew up, he became a great uncle, in both sentiments of the word, not only to my brother and me, but to our five cousins.

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The 8-millimeter film of him playing soccer at my parents’ house, long before I was born, with several of our cousins and my parents’ dog is a Feder family treasure.

As the years wore on, my brother and I also were able to partake in Uncle Max’s soccer games. Even at his advancing age, he was a very talented player.

My love for my surrogate grandfather began early and remains to this day. As a child, I watched him play an obscure card game with my cousin every Thanksgiving and at every other family gathering. The duels between the two were legendary, with Uncle Max winning more often when he was younger.

Ultimately, his sharp card-playing mind began to yield to the years and his opponent, my cousin, stole more and more games from the champ. As I got older, I learned the game from them and even had the privilege to face the champ once. I lost.

My cousin and I still play every Thanksgiving to this day, and our thoughts and conversation often turn to “Maxie’s” great Klaberjass ability.

The final constant in Uncle Max’s life as I knew it was his passion for the Cubbies. Even in his 90s, the man knew what the Cubs were doing, who was good and how they were choking. If he were still able to follow the games, I am quite sure he would be proud of their start to the 2008 season and would be actively cheering them in their quest to bring home the first World Series title since he was baby.

Uncle Max was great in so many ways that words fail to portray the man I knew for slightly more than one-fifth of his life. He was caring and friendly and entirely inoffensive. His heart was with his extended family, and all of us returned his affection every chance we got. He was active, even as the years ran on, and is my role model for how to age beautifully.

The last time I saw Uncle Max, he was in a home. He failed to recognize either my mother or me, but after some prodding and us indicating ourselves in a picture, we saw that he remembered the people we were without identifying the bodies before him. At that moment I prepared myself for today, for the day when I would finally have to say that Uncle Max lives only in the hearts of his family.

Lee is a senior in mechanical engineering and thanks his friends, family, teammates and editor for an amazing run in Champaign. His heart will always be with Uncle Max.