G-O-D voting for the GOP?

By Sujay Kumar

When God and Hitler enter the conversation, it’s a good sign that there are less than two months before the presidential election.

This election season, B-Ob’s ability to foster hysteria in the masses while speaking and John McCain’s inherent evilness according to Madonna’s photo montage during the song “Get Stupid” (fitting title) have both been likened to the Nazi leader.

But aside from six letters in the names Hitler, Barack and McCain, the three have little else in common.

So when the argument fails for one of the most hated people in the history of the world, where better to turn than to the big man upstairs? Not only are some people down with the G-O-D, but apparently the G-O-D’s down with politics.

Recently, former National Chairman of the Democratic National Committee Don Fowler was on a flight from Denver to Charlotte, N.C., following the National Democratic Convention.

He was sitting next to Rep. John Spratt, D-S.C., when the two had their own mini-version of a cable news network discussion.

After making fun of John McCain’s Alaskan wonder woman Sarah Palin for being “just a woman” and “terrible,” Fowler then ran his own “Gustav Watch.” Only this time, meteorological radars weren’t included in the segment.

Fowler joked that weather forecasts showing that Hurricane Gustav was to hit the same day the Republican National Convention got under way was proof that God is in fact a Democrat.

It looks like Fowler’s proximity to the almighty’s home at the time of the flight may have led him to this conclusion. Either that or lack of oxygen.

Unfortunately for the Democrat, God did not foresee someone sitting behind Fowler and secretly videotaping the entire sermon, errr, conversation. And like any controversial and crappy quality one-minute video recording, it soon ended up featured on YouTube and the conservative blog RedState.com.

But somewhere after making the comments and being busted, Fowler found it in himself to confess his sins and ask for forgiveness.

Last Sunday (this did not actually take place in church), Fowler said that his God is a compassionate God. He added that New Orleans is dear to everyone, and he would wish no harm on it. Especially considering his God is not a vengeful God.

It turns out Fowler was trying to satirize the Rev. Jerry Falwell’s comment years ago that 9/11 was because God was essentially pissed off at mankind for sinning. Fowler conceded that it was just some “right-wing nutcase” taping the conversation without warning or context, something to be expected during this politically charged time.


But speaking of nutcases, Michael Moore recently appeared on Keith Olbermann’s “Countdown” on MSNBC (take your pick). With Moore came a similar prophecy that Fowler received from the big daddy (God, not Moore): “Gustav is proof that there is a God in heaven.”

Moore added that everyone should take safety precautions, God forbid they get hurt. Moore later apologized on his Web site with an “open letter to God.”

Now Fowler and Moore can speculate all they want about who God is likely to vote for this November. These conversations can be featured on Fox News or CNN to fill in the time slots that usually involve Wolf Blitzer discussing something that’s already had the interest beaten out of it in his Torture Room.

But until the G-O-D makes a celestial appearance at one of the party’s conventions, or smites one of the candidates with something really bad or really mild, depending on what kind of God your God is, we’ll never know if the big guy is red or blue.

And Fowler and Moore are not messiahs. And they were just joking.

But aside from the poor taste of a joke hinged on a natural disaster, it still seems that when all else fails in politics, the ultimate in-your-face is having God on your team.

Obama-God ’08? McCain-Almighty ’08? Huckabee-His Holiness ’20? Dear God, now there’s a winning ticket.

Sujay is a senior in LAS and is wondering who his gods will vote for.