Voters should hail Bush the Shunned

By Dan Streib

Two conventions have passed, the general election has begun, and it’s now official that George W. Bush is the worst president ever. Allowed to appear at his party’s convention only through video and kept quiet by the McCain camp, he is being reduced to something much lower and subhuman than any other president in recent memory.

The reason is obviously his low poll numbers, which are partly due to lingering beliefs that Bush lied about Iraqi weapons of mass destruction. But did he really lie? Is it so unreasonable to suppose that he accepted the intelligence the CIA handed him? What about the Clinton administration? They must have been lying about Iraqi WMD too. So it was with Congress, too. There’s no possibility of it all being a mistake. We’re talking about a bipartisan effort to deceive Americans for over a decade!

But no, not only is Bush a liar, a criminal, the anti-Christ and heir to Hitler, but he can’t speak very well. Obviously, if you can’t speak properly, you have no intelligence at all. That’s why that nerdy kid in the back of the classroom who can’t socialize always gets an “A” on his papers. Speaking well is the only real sign of intelligence according to our superficial nation – hence, the Obama candidacy.

Oh, and about that war, it’s not like casualties are down, and the Iraqi government looks as if it might be successful. And while we’re having fun contradicting reality, it’s plainly obvious that Saddam never had any terrorist ties either. Nope, Abu Nidal, the Palestinian Liberation Front and the Mujahedin-e Khalq Organization never stayed overnight in Baghdad.

Since WMD-seeking Saddam didn’t like al-Qaida, there’s just simply no way he could have had an affinity for any other radical Islamist extremists. I mean, didn’t the liberal press and academia tell us that because of the secular nature of Saddam’s regime, he could never have supported a religiously affiliated terrorist group? Oh, wait a minute. My bad. I forgot. It’s the conservatives who are the liars.

Those darn right-wing nut-jobs purposely told people there are WMD in a country – all the while knowing that they’d be proven wrong after the invasion was completed. They’re that stupid!

And while I’m on the topic of stupid conservative ploys, how about that war on terror? Why on Earth would we condemn all terrorist groups after Sept. 11, and not solely focus on al-Qaida? Terrorists aren’t generalized agents of chaos. They have specific grievances. And once those grievances are met, they stop killing innocents.

That’s why Hezbollah stopped attacking Israel once the Jewish state pulled troops out of Lebanon in 2000. That’s why Hamas stopped attacking Israel once Gaza was returned to the Palestinians in 2005. That’s why Osama bin Laden renounced terrorism forever once the Soviets finally pulled out of Afghanistan in 1989.

Oops … none of that happened. Maybe the loony left needs to re-examine its idea that terrorists are merely depressed individuals who disagree with our policies. Maybe they need to stop conning families into thinking their children died in Afghanistan and Iraq in vain.

And with that statement, hopefully, you see that I’m no longer being sarcastic, but deadly serious. I’m done with my rant, and I’d like to conclude by pointing out that, despite the misconceptions we had going into Iraq, it all comes down to this: We attacked two terrorist-sponsored states after we felt the effects of radical Islamist extremism on Sept. 11.

Then, in the aftermath of each invasion, Bush ignored the critics and did the most humane and noble thing he could’ve done. He chose to spare those two nations a return to authoritarianism. He decided to help them build a democracy, and it looks like both reconstruction projects will soon be successful.

While many Americans are anxious to move on from our supposedly horrible president, it seems to me that this election time is better spent reflecting on his accomplishments and doing our best to think creatively on how we can build upon what he has achieved.

After all, it’s not everyday you have two newly democratized Middle Eastern countries looking for an ally.

Dan is a junior in political science who is tired of hearing that McCain agreed with Bush 90 percent of the time. That 10 percent difference was on big issues, and the Obama camp knows it.