Three ghosts visit Christmas controversy

By Sujay Kumar

Who’s that decking his halls with a flamboyant red jumpsuit, jingling his bells and caroling that you don your favorite gay apparel, with the intention of sticking packages down your chimney?

Why it’s merry Saint Nick, of course. That jolly old man is sliding onto your rooftop in less than 13 days to celebrate baby Jesus’ birthday.

But before you break out the eggnog and pop in a VHS to chronicle the crazy hijinks of Kevin McCallister, you should be aware of a new traditional Christmas story that’s debuting this year.

A gay group in Amsterdam has decided that Charlie Brown, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and Frosty the Snowman did not satisfy the gayness-quota for the winter holiday season.

That’s not true. And it is probably based on homophobic stereotypes. I apologize.

What the Dutch gay group has orchestrated is a “Pink Christmas” festival. The 10-day event is aimed at increasing gay-friendly options during the holidays and sparking dialogue about homosexuality and religion.

What may really launch some fiery yuletide debate is that the festival features a manger with two Josephs and two Marys.

Now, some people may be thinking “Bah, humbug! There’s no way these gays can come out on my Christmas and mock everything it stands for!”

Easy Ebenezer, don’t get your stockings in a knot.

As in any great Christmas story, the pro-gay community has found its very own Scrooge. University of Washington students staged a protest against an anti-gay marriage column that ran in The Daily on Nov. 25.

Written by John Fay, the article titled, “Gay marriage? Let’s stop and think about this” has been labeled as hateful and homophobic.

In the piece, Fay asks for readers to consider the Prop 8 vote from a rational basis. He states that since homosexuality is “more of an emotional condition” we should not pass laws condoning it. Fay does concede that being homosexual does not make someone a bad person, but it is a problem that needs to be dealt with and not denied.

The article is accompanied with an illustration of a man next to a sheep, in reference to Fay’s statement that “Once you’ve legalized gay marriage, why not polygamy, incest, bestiality or any other form of union?”

The mention of Dasher, Dancer, Prancer or Vixen shacking up with one of Santa’s elves probably isn’t the best turn for this Christmas story to take. Understandably, the mention of bestiality in the same vein as homosexuality has angered many people.

The Graduate and Professional Student Senate at Washington has demanded an apology from the Daily’s editorial board or their resignation. Instead of censorship, it wants an open dialogue about inciting homophobia in media. The editor in chief of the paper has said that they have no intention of apologizing.

Now, where does this Christmas story go from here? It’s unclear. We have Ebenezer trying to put the kibosh on “Pink Christmas” and Scrooge fighting an “evil” newspaper.

Enter in Three Spirits visiting Ebenezer and Scrooge.

The first spirit would be the Ghost of Sensitivity toward people who are different. Who would feel guilty when looking at their actions from a distance?

The Ghost of Free Speech would float in next. Is it right to praise one form of free speech while simultaneously condemning another?

Examining the line between free speech and hate would be the Ghost of Censorship. When certain boundaries are crossed, who decides the penalty?

Some of you may be wondering why everyone gay, straight and everything in between can’t have one of those “Love Actually”/ Zales moments around the Christmas holidays. For this story to have a happy ending, we may just need a miracle.

But if Tim Taylor from “Home Improvement” can guide a plane to a safe landing with only the aid of the Christmas lights his boys put up while he was stranded in Alpena, then maybe this isn’t too farfetched.

Sujay is a senior in biochemistry and realizes the irony of being a straight Hindu writing about a gay Christmas.