I never saw it coming. No advisory in 20 point type cautioned me about the potential for what was about to happen, no bold letters on a tag listed the dangers associated with use. But five minutes before I had to be in class on the opposite side of campus, I got the hem of my favorite striped button-down hopelessly tangled in the double zipper on my parka. I ended up being 10 minutes late to class, with a rumpled hem to boot.

Never mind the fact that I could have started getting ready earlier, or worn a button-down coat. In a society that expects to be sheltered from frustration or disappointment of any kind, only a warning label could have stopped me from arriving to class unfashionable and late.

However, there is no shortage of labels warning about risks that are obvious (“The beverage you are about to enjoy is extremely hot” or absurd “This KitchenAid mixer is not intended for use in the shower”.) Where are the warning labels for mishaps that are actually likely to occur?

Innumerable mistakes that occur every day as a result of our haste and inattention could be averted by a simple warning label. If only Microsoft made a wallpaper that read, “Save changes every 15 minutes because Word will encounter a problem and have to close just after you finished inserting your footnotes.” Or, on every Hershey’s Kiss sold, “Caution: Product has propensity to turn to irremovable chocolate goo in your pocket on days with temperatures above 0 F.”

Why are the daily traumas of unsaved changes to papers and chocolate encrusted pockets allowed to continue while the idiots who were planning to jump-start that batch of cookies in the shower are spared their mistakes by virtue of a warning label? Litigation stemming from injury suffered by users of the product is often cited as a rationale for excessive-seeming warning labels.

The “hot beverage” advisory on McDonald’s coffee cups is often cited as an example of Americans’ growing unwillingness to take responsibility for their stupidity. However, it seems to me like a reason for us sufferers of paper deletions and melting chocolates to hire better lawyers.

Sometimes we’re acutely aware of what turn out to be misjudgments but passionately in denial for the sake of flattering our egos. Particularly at this time of year, when New Year’s resolutions are still at the forefront of our minds, we do all sorts of things that rely on our adopting changes to our lifestyle, a bet that almost always turns out to be wrong.

If only everyday utensils could come equipped with advisories telling us what we already know, but are unwilling to admit to ourselves.

Sales clerks would give you a steely stare of death every time you bought a too-small size to flatter yourself, only to end up throwing the uncomfortably tight garment to the bottom of your closet. Every copy of War and Peace would be truncated after page 40, and have its price reduced by 90 percent.

Fooling ourselves into thinking that we are thinner, more studious and more virtuous in general than we are costs us untold amounts of time and money every year. Think of the happiness and tranquility that could be ours if warnings would remind us of our fat, illiterate selves. However, friends are usually happy to do this for us.

It may be just as well that textbooks and coats don’t come equipped with advisories warning of common mishaps. After all, how many times have you let someone’s good advice come between you and a good time on the night before a paper is due? If you’re like me, the answer to that question is never.

If our own common sense won’t impart a lesson, maybe a few mishaps incurred as a result are necessary for the message to sink in. That, and I’m interested in seeing what happens to cookies that are mixed in the shower.

Amy is a freshman in math and when she isn’t mixing cookies in the shower, she can be found digging chocolate out of her pockets.