Innocence in college students shouldn’t be stigmatized

By Rebecca Kapolnek

I’ve always been a professional at “never have I ever,” a game where people try and name times where they engaged in something “risque” or “bad.” While everyone around me furiously puts their fingers down as they admit to the good or bad experiences they have had in their lifetime, I sit patiently waiting for my time to join the game. In the end, I always win because I never get the chance to put a finger down. I am the innocent one.

Growing up, I went to a private Catholic school, dedicated to protecting youth from all of the temptations that come along with life. Ever since preschool, I was sheltered from the real world and told that activities such as drinking, smoking and sex were wrong and that I should avoid them at all costs. I did not drink in high school and I have never smoked anything in my entire life. Living like this for the first 18 years of my life is where the problems began for me in college and why I was soon known as the “innocent” one on my dorm floor freshman year.  

While college is a time for experimenting and discovery, it should be noted that not everyone is on the same playing field when it comes to their exposure to the college drinking culture and other aspects of college life. I believe that this largely has to do with the fact that every student is raised differently. Our past experiences have a lot to do with the people we are today and there should not be such a negative connotation connected with the term “innocent” if that’s the value you were brought up with.

I still vividly remember my first night of college. A frat party was on the agenda and all the girls on my floor were ready to start our college years off right. When we arrived at the house I was immediately overwhelmed by all of the shenanigans that were happening before my eyes. As we walked through the house, my friends immediately ran off in search of alcohol.

At this point, I had still never had a sip of alcohol and I was extremely scared of what could happen when I tried it. They came back with three cups of “jungle juice” and started encouraging me to chug it. I took one sip, gagged and put down my cup. At this moment, I felt extremely inexperienced compared to all of the people around me who were chugging their drinks with ease and without care.

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Throughout my entire first semester of college it was all the same. I was being taunted by the people on my floor for being less experienced than them when it came to drinking. I felt the judgment every time we all hung out and eventually they stopped inviting me to go out with them. All this because I came into college less familiar with the college drinking culture.

College students should not feel pressured to engage in activities that make them uncomfortable simply because they are in college. Being “innocent” made me feel more susceptible to these types of peer pressure because I really did not know what I was turning down. Everybody is raised differently and therefore being “innocent” is not something that should be looked down upon.

As adults, we are in control of our own lives and we have the right to choose what we do with it. Over the last three years I have warmed up to the University drinking culture, and as a 21 year old I am comfortable going out and having a great time with friends. Everybody becomes acquainted with college at his or her own pace and that should be respected.

Innocence is not a plague. Instead, I like to think of innocence as bliss. Innocence is truly something that is only perceived. Technically speaking, in high school, nobody is allowed to drink because they are all underage. While some may see me as “innocent” for not drinking in high school, I just see it as following the law and following my morals.

In the same respect, students who have had more experiences need to be more sensitive to the fact that there are students here who are not at their level but still want to have fun.

Where we are at with our experiences when we come to college largely depends on how we are raised and what we were allowed to see and witness as a child. I do not look back and wish my childhood was any different. Nobody should feel pressured to advance at a rate faster than they are comfortable and nobody should feel forced to try and be somebody they are not.

Rebecca is a junior in LAS. She can be reached at [email protected].