I hate sports.

Not in the way that the hipster couple sitting in your local coffee shop judges you when they see you walk past wearing your favorite sports team’s jersey.

“Ugh, I hate sports, I will never understand how people watch those idiots knock into each other,” some guy named Owen wearing glasses with thick frames says to his girlfriend Amanda who responds by saying,

“You’re so right, sports are just a modernization of the Roman Coliseums and man’s obsession with brutality.”

They sip the chai teas and go on to talk about the new Grizzly Bear album or Wes Anderson movie.

I don’t hate sports like they hate sports; I just hate sports because sports hate me.

In baseball, I am a White Sox fan. In football, I cheer for the Bears. In basketball, I root for the Bulls. I attend the University of Illinois, so therefore my allegiance lie with the Illini.

I am not going to include hockey. I am a Blackhawks fan, but I wasn’t raised watching them and only began paying attention when they started playing well and eventually became one of the NHL’s best teams.

Oh, and before you start judging me for that, just remember there is an excellent chance you’re the same way and just don’t want to admit it.

Now that I got that out of the way, I can tell you that since the White Sox won the World Series in 2005, the teams I root for have let me down time and time again.

The Sox have made the playoffs once since 2005. In 2008 they beat the Twins in a one-game playoff to move onto the ALDS.

In the ALDS they fell to the Tampa Bay Rays and were eliminated.

The White Sox are my favorite sports team and that has mostly led to disappointment, despite one magical season in 2005.

The Bears went to the Super Bowl in 2006. I watched it at a friend’s house and exclaimed after Devin Hester’s opening kickoff return for a touchdown “OH MY GOD GUYS THE BEARS ARE GOING TO WIN THE SUPER BOWL!”

The Bears did not win the Super Bowl and have been no more than a slightly above average team since then.

The Bulls aren’t bad, but without a healthy Derrick Rose, (which at this point seems impossible), they aren’t legit NBA championship contenders.

As much as I appreciate watching hard-nosed regular season defense, when it comes to the playoffs, a Bull’s squad without Rose is nearly unwatchable.

Finally, we turn to college sports. Oh, Illini athletics, how you enrage me.

Illinois football is the worst team in the Big Ten this season, and the Illini’s arrow is pointing way down.

The only hope I can find is Illinois Basketball. It looks like it will be pretty good this season, but knowing how teams I root for typically perform, John Groce’s team will probably disappoint.

Some of my lowest emotional moments in life have been because of sports.

I was an Illinois State Redbirds basketball fan when I attended ISU my freshman year.

I shed more than a few tears on the bus ride home from St. Louis after Doug McDermott and Creighton took down the Redbirds in overtime during the Missouri Valley Conference championship game.

It took me weeks to get over Jim Thome hitting a walk-off home run against the White Sox back in 2010.

Oftentimes, I feel jealous of Owen and Amanda in the coffee shop.

They don’t care at all whether or not the White Sox, Bears, Bulls, or Illini win.

They spend their lives worrying about other stuff, like when The Decemberists’ next album will come out.

While I am jealous of non-sports fans, I also would never trade in my sports fandom for anything else.

I was born and raised a sports fan.

Sports are the root of much of my disappointment, but they have also brought me some of my greatest joys.

For that reason, I love sports.

Sam is a senior in Media and can be reached at [email protected] or on twitter @Sam_Sherman5.