The real reason Barack Obama will be president

By Jordan Harp

In four days Barack Obama will officially become our 45th president. It will certainly be a historic moment, and millions of people will be watching.

There were many people who made Obama’s victory possible. Obama seemed to thank all of them in his victory speech in Grant Park on Election Day. Unfortunately, the person most instrumental to his victory did not get any mention.

Who is this person? His name is David, and it isn’t one of the Davids you might be thinking of that he did mention in his speech.

It isn’t David Axelrod, Obama’s chief strategist, and it isn’t David Plouffe either, his campaign manager. The David that I am talking about and that our soon to be president has not thanked yet is David Palmer.

For those of you who do not know who David Palmer is, please hit yourself. Hard. It is almost unforgivable that you would be ignorant of the most perfect form of entertainment there is today, 24.

David Palmer started out as Senator Palmer, and then was President Palmer in later seasons, much like our president-elect. He is also a rather eloquent speaker, much like Obama. It is never revealed whether he is Democrat or Republican, although there were clues dropped that seemed to hint at him being a Republican. Also, the show’s producers are noted Hollywood Republicans. However, you also have to consider the fact that he is black, which often doesn’t lead one to join the GOP.

You might think it sounds ridiculous that Barack Obama is our new president because of a TV show, even though it is an incredibly awesome one. But it isn’t. We all know that the media and the entertainment industry are masters at starting trends. This show simply started the trend of wanting a black guy to be president, they put it into the public’s consciousness and made it socially acceptable.

They introduced him as a serious presidential candidate, and seven years later we have a real black president. David Palmer wasn’t the only black guy to be president on the show. David’s brother, Wayne, was also president at one point, but I don’t mention him because he whispered all the time and had a goatee, both very unpresidential. Barack Obama was able to capitalize on this, and he was able to remind people the most of David Palmer, the president we all really want.

Joe Biden would most likely agree as well. In October, at a fundraiser in Seattle, Biden warned of a potential crisis that could face the president within six months of him taking office. Many people thought this was irresponsible and demanded an explanation.

The explanation is rather simple, Joe Biden is a 24 fan and wanted to see some excitement like in the show. Palmer was tested twice while he was in office and had to make some very unpopular decisions. Yet I would not hope for 24-like action for Obama if I were the vice president-elect.

During his time on the show, there were three assassination attempts on him, one of which was successful, he left his wife after it was shown what a horrible person she was, his ex-wife was later killed by the wife of a prominent donor, who had been blackmailing him to fire his brother who was his chief of staff because he had an affair with his wife. He was also removed from power in a virtual coup by his former chief of staff. Those are things even the most Republican wouldn’t wish on Obama.

Yet, there is an even deeper reason that Obama won the presidency. While David Palmer might be the one who paved the way for him, he would have never gotten there if one man had not saved his life when he was running for president. You can probably guess who that man is: Jack Bauer. There you have it, the real reason Barack Obama is going to be president is because of Jack Bauer.

Now, why have I decided to basically write a 700-word advertisement for a show when I am supposed to be a serious columnist? There was no 24 last year, and no one is going to read this column anyway because no students are back on campus yet, and I can go back to acting like a serious opinions writer on Tuesday.

On this latest season there is a female president. So who will it be in 2016? Clinton, Palin, or someone we don’t know of yet? Whoever it is, they better thank Jack Bauer.

Jordan is a junior in MCB, and it’s on Mondays at 8 p.m.