In the truest sense of chivalry and feminism, they just cannot coexist.

While I view chivalry as concerning itself with honorable and gallant behavior toward women, I believe feminism focuses on the importance of advancing women’s rights as human rights. The actions of chivalry aren’t so much the issue, but the fact that a man feels the need to do something nice for someone solely because the individual is a woman is a problem.

I don’t think women need special treatment by men or in general, but they do deserve to be treated equally in all areas of everyday life, whether in terms of salary in comparison to men or having more women represented in politics.

But special treatment of women from the macro-perspective, even in a seemingly harmless chivalrous sense, is still treating women differently from men. Chivalry makes it seem as if there is something inherently unique about women — such as the view that they are the weaker of the sexes — which causes men to treat them with special care. 

For example, a man might perceive going out of his way to help a woman carry her heavy belongings as chivalrous. But to a woman, she might perceive this action as indicative of the man’s perception that she is physically weaker, despite her showing no signs of being weak or of needing help. 

This situation can be extrapolated to other situations in which women are treated differently and often unfairly.

In another example, it is common knowledge that in the workplace, women are often not seen as leaders and therefore typically hold less powerful positions than men do. Even though females are just as capable as males at performing a variety of work tasks, the perception of women as weaker and therefore incompetent may contribute to them receiving fewer executive roles than men.

This notion that a woman should be treated in some special manner because she is of “the fairer sex,” or a fragile woman, is at the core of everything against feminism. However, this same idea is one of the main facets of modern day chivalry. It’s quite the oxymoron considering one goal of feminism is to promote the independence of women.

Like pretty much any other individual, a woman should be able to help herself. Doing things for a woman in consideration of her sex, despite her not expressing any desire to be helped, implies that she needs it. Therefore treating a woman differently because of her sex, to me, is a direct violation of her independence and the core of feminism.

The differentiation of the sexes that comes along with chivalry is already an issue in itself. Consider linguistic differences, such as when men refer to women as “fair.” 

The connotation of “fair” places an emphasis on the physical traits of a woman, implying that they are “more delicate” than men. But how often do you hear a woman refer to a man as “fair?” You don’t: We use words such as handsome and strong instead.

Sure, referring to a woman as “fair” might be justified in a chivalrous sense, but when we consider what sex we refer to as “fair” — women, not men — and what it places emphasis on — physical characteristics — it automatically implies that men are the stronger and more able-bodied sex.

This is a problem because once you start differentiating the two sexes from a single characteristic, you open doors to differentiate them in other ways, too.

Since a goal of feminism is to realize that female capability equals male capability, placing emphasis on the differences between men and women, which chivalry ends up doing, strays away from the core concepts of feminism.

Although chivalry might seem harmless, it isn’t excluded from the category of sexism as men’s behavior toward women indirectly puts them down. As described by an article from the American Psychological Association, “Portraying women as wonderful but childlike, incompetent, needing men to protect them, and therefore best suited for low status roles, benevolent sexism justifies gender inequality.”

Although chivalrous acts aren’t always carried out from the perspective of a man believing he has authority over a woman, the intentions behind them hint at societal paradigms of misogyny and women being weaker than men.

As long as these ideas of female incompetence are rooted in acts of chivalry, we will continue to see harmful distinctions made between the genders, and subsequent actions that conflict with feminism will ensue.

Sehar is a junior in LAS. She can be reached at [email protected]. Follow her on Twitter @Nimatod.