Leaving home for the first time inevitably brings about emotions one would never expect to occur. I thought going away to college would be great, I would finally gain the independence I so longed for and felt I deserved.

To me, college meant I could live on my own and be the independent woman I’ve been dreaming to be ever since I was a little girl. It also meant no more being told to “Go make your bed!” or “Set the table!” by my mom. I wouldn’t have to do everything she wanted me to do at the drop of a hat.

Quickly, I realized I missed the fact that my mom always found a way to tell me what to do. Being 200-some miles away from home left me as the sole person to make decisions. It was up to me to call the shots and decide which path I wanted to take on the highway of life.

I could no longer expect my mom to always help guide me through life’s toughest decisions and hold my hand each bumpy step of the way.

The first time I hit a rough patch at school, I didn’t know what to do. All I could think of was, “Is it okay that I ask my mom what to do? I thought I was the one in charge now.” I wasn’t sure if running to my mom every time I was hurt or upset would help me gain the independence I had always wanted.

Through the tears and worries, I soon discovered that it was okay to rely on my mom for help. I realized that, despite the distance, my mom was still always going to “be there” for me, though maybe not as much as I needed her to be at the time.

She was and still is ready to lend a helping hand when I just don’t know what to do. There isn’t a mean bone in my mom’s body. She has always been a helper, the one everyone turns to for advice.

It’s kind of ironic, but going away to college has actually brought my mom and me a lot closer. She is the first person I call when I’m upset or down. I also know that she confides in me many of the things that are bothering her. I know she is only a phone call away all of the time, ready to drop everything she is doing and ready to help me through my problems.

People always say once you go away to college, your life will never be the same. To some extent, I believe that to be true. Of course, life will never be the same. I won’t be home permanently ever again and I won’t ever have the chance to be in high school again.

However, the relationship I have with my mom will never change. She will always be the same caring, loving, helping friend to me that she has always been. There will never again be a day when I have to question whether calling my mom when I’m upset is the right thing to do.

Growing closer to her this past year has made me appreciate how much she has done for me in the past, how much she does for me now, and how much she will do for me in the future. I truly thank my mom for everything she has done for me. She has helped shape me into the person I am today. Without her in my life, I don’t know where I would be.

She truly is my role model. I only hope that one day I can fill her shoes and return the favor by being the helping hand and listening ear to my own children.