Unofficial and the thought police

By Travis Eliason

I was appalled at the displays of insensitivity on campus Friday during Unofficial St. Patrick’s Day. The Irish American community should be up in arms over the rampant misrepresentation of its people.

During my time in Ireland, never did I see people with high pointy ears, green bowler hats, and beads wrapped festively about their necks. Nor did they ever brazenly stagger about the streets drunk on green beer before 11 a.m.

Even more disappointing, however, was the University’s failure to act. I saw countless uniformed officers patrolling the streets ensuring the safety of our citizens.

But where was the Thought Police (“bias incident investigation team”) to redeem the virtues of political correctness held dear by our campus?

Where were the paddy wagons to haul the unrepentant masses off to be reprogrammed (“extended diversity training”)? I fear the University has missed a great opportunity to further sanitize our campus.