Zen and the art of Facebook maintenance

Zen and the art of Facebook maintenance

The Facebook status is a delicate art. There’s a razor-thin line between cool and crazy. If you want to convey how you’re doing to interested parties, you need to do so without oversharing or looking like a buffoon. In order to help others (and therefore help myself) I have compiled some basic guidelines to keep you from looking like a psycho.

1) Keep it simple. I don’t want to know how you spend every minute of every day. I can barely tolerate the banality of my own life let alone someone else’s. “Random Chick is studying for the next hour then going to claass then meeting up with my MAN!!lol” is just annoying. This segues nicely into my next point:

2) Don’t kiss and tell. I don’t want to know about your relationship. If you break up or have a baby, fill me in, otherwise keep it to yourself. For example: “Jane Doe can’t give you what you want and it’s killing me” is creepy and overly personal. If you said that to my face, I would call your mother. If you don’t have anything normal to say, don’t say anything at all. Remember, all of your friends can see this, not just your beau.

3) Does no one proofread anymore? “Than” and “then” are not interchangeable. Nor is “half” the same as “have;” and “two,” “too,” and “to” have three completely different meanings. It is as though as soon as we graduate high school it’s no longer cool to spell words correctly.

I can sort of understand text-message abbreviations, but come on. You are an adult, spell like one.

The anonymity provided by the World Wide Web can lead people to say things online that they wouldn’t say in person; but it isn’t just your closest friends who can see your status. Try and show some decorum and just keep that freaky stuff to yourself.

Andrew Schiver

senior in LAS