Once upon a time, there was a young politician named Barack Obama who ran for president with the slogan “Yes We Can.” He was motivated and naïve and came to Washington under the false assumption that those around him were also in Washington, D.C. to serve their constituents, solve existing problems and overall increase the quality of life in the United States.

Obama faced many hardships in Washington. The greatest of these challenges surrounded a highly controversial health care bill that was proposed in 2009. The bill aimed “to provide affordable, quality health care for all Americans and reduce the growth in health care spending.” Support for such a radical plan was divided: On one hand, it gave everyone access to life. On the other hand, it was government intervention into the freedom of its citizens.

The crafty Fox, who had long opposed Barack Obama, thought up a genius plan.

“I know,” he thought, “I shall spin this bill so that it scares the American people, who are likely to believe what I tell them. I shall make it sound as though this bill wants to kill your children!”

And so he did.

Fox spread rumors about the existence of death panels, councils of bureaucrats who would decide the fate of those in need. They would decide if those suffering from various items, from old age to Down syndrome, were worthy of health care, based on their level of productivity in society.

“These panels,” the sneaky Fox said, “want to kill our grandparents and children!”

Even though this statement was rated the “Lie of the Year,” the American people grew afraid and raised objections to the health care bill. The bill passed, but soon a new opponent came to challenge Barack Obama, and, along with support from Fox, promised to repeal such a terrible law.

This new opponent’s name was Republican Candidate for President.

Republican Candidate for President had long stood in the shadows, vehemently attacking Barack Obama through votes against him and the quiet support of Fox. In 2011, however, less than three years after Barack Obama had come to Washington, Republican Candidate for President roared into life, opening a dangerous and terrifying attack known as Campaign Season.

Campaign Season began with Fox and Republican Candidate for President taking shots at Barack Obama, shooting him with everything from health care to the economy to the multitude of wars. Eventually, while the main focus remained on Barack Obama, there grew great fighting within Republican Candidate for President, and as a result, a series of debates were held to decide which values were indeed most important to Republican Candidate for President.

Fox helped to host many of these debates, supplying either the venue or the audience, sometimes even providing the questions and the coverage. In this way, Fox could insure that Republican Candidate for President stayed on course: controlling the American people, so they could retain their freedom.

In Sept. 2011, one of these debates was hosted by Fox’s close friend and ally, Tea Party. Now, Tea Party and Fox got along very well, for they both understood what the American people needed and could influence a large segment of the United States population.

At Tea Party’s debate, the moderator stated, “Republican Candidate for President, your state has executed 234 death row inmates, more than any other governor in modern times,” and the crowd responded with the loudest applause of the night. Later in the debate, Republican Candidate for President was asked, “What do you tell a guy who is sick, goes into a coma and doesn’t have health insurance? Who pays for his coverage? Are you saying that society should just let him die?” Before Republican Candidate for President could respond, “Yes!” was yelled from the audience.

Republican Candidate for President avoided directly answering the question but instead explained how this case was an example of free choice. Tea Party celebrated wildly, yelling and shouting, clapping in support.

And Fox? Fox stood off to the side, quietly smirking.

Moral of the story: Those who are always truthful have forgotten they lied yesterday.

_Sarah is a junior in LAS._