Slice Factory has some big shoes to fill
September 25, 2017
Cheap drunk food on Green Street is a thing of the past.
Sure, McDonald’s is always there for a budget-friendly bite and a random DJ, but non-chain restaurants catered toward college students who are looking to grab a late night snack are largely gone.
Slice Factory, which opened on Thursday, was the last hope to replace Antonio’s, especially after Papa D’s closed within the same year. Two major drunk food locations were wiped off the map before students even had the time to properly say goodbye.
That’s not to say Slice Factory is bad. At worst, the crust is thin and chewy, the sauce is marinara sweet and the toppings leave a pool of grease and let-down expectations. At best, it’s an unnecessarily huge slice of pizza with a current selection of three common toppings. Could be worse, could be better.
For those who remember Antonio’s, there was nothing better than choosing from an assortment of pies — mac and cheese, tortellini, barbecue and of course, classics like cheese and pepperoni.
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When Antonio’s abruptly closed and was replaced by Cracked, some hope was restored for a solid drunk food option. The quality of Cracked is high, and not standing at a truck outside a bar is great, but for college students on a budget, it’s hard to get out of Cracked satisfied and full for less than $5.
Unfortunately, Slice Factory is no better. A basic cheese slice is more than $5 and a “meat lover’s” slice (the most extravagant option available) is almost $7. It doesn’t seem like a lot, but considering a whole Papa John’s pizza is $5, a “jumbo slice” doesn’t really seem worth it.
Is pizza an excellent drunk food? Of course. Does any intoxicated student want to pay $6.60 to cradle one slice of pizza that’s the weight of a newborn child? Likely not.
There are more places to get drunk food on Green Street, obviously. If you’re craving that crust-sauce combo, Azzip and D.P. Dough (a classic) are both open late. For a slightly more upscale munchie, Sakanaya’s late night has definitely gotten some attention recently. Burrito King and Cravings, while lower quality, will be enough to satisfy.
But if you’re trying to spend less than $10 for your after-bar satisfaction, most of those are out of range. For anything less than $5, you’re entirely out of luck.
Everyone knows that judgement is diminished when drunk, so no matter how well-intentioned a person is, “drunk you” won’t hesitate to hand over a $10 or $20 bill for a drunk meal. It won’t be worth the price though, especially when checking the bank account in the morning.
The one thing that can be said for Slice Factory is that it is a huge amount of food. But if your primary drunk food goal is to eat as much as possible, you might as well eat at Fat Sandwich. It’s local to the University, and it definitely has more variety. Where else can you get fries and mozzarella sticks on a sandwich?
If you still want cheap pizza, you might just want to stick with Papa John’s. It’s already dirt cheap, but check your wristbands Cochrane bargoers, because there’s probably a coupon on there too.
Students should save their money for another round until Green Street has more to offer. For the seemingly endless time it took for Slice Factory to open, it should have more to offer than overpriced, oversized slices.