The University of Illinois community has experienced a loss – one that has many people in a state of grief. The loss of the GREATEST Illini team in history in the NCAA championship game to a great UNC one affected everyone mildly related to the team, and grief must now ensue. Everyone grieves differently but there are some basic stages to mourning that are somewhat universal.

Grief can begin with shock. This first stage is often an automatic reaction to loss, and the disbelief associated with it might bring on numbness, as well as the inability to make simple decisions. It could last for minutes, hours and even days, depending on the severity of the trauma. After the initial shock, one will move on to the longest stage in the process -suffering. This is when reality sets in and one comes to terms with the loss they’ve experienced. There are many emotions that people go through in this stage, sadness being the most common one. This can be triggered by any memories of the experience. Leaving Assembly Hall, I witnessed the most dejected looks on people’s faces, and it was followed by anger on Green Street.

Anger can be a response to feeling powerless and frustrated. It can be self-directed, or it can be towards outside forces, such as the Alma Mater. There can also be feelings of guilt. People might feel as though they didn’t cheer enough, or if you’re superstitious, and you didn’t sit in the exact spot wearing the exact T-shirt you wear normally, you might feel as though the loss is your fault. However, I must say that it isn’t. There are thousands and thousands of other fans that feel this way, and you alone cannot be the reason the Illini lost to UNC, so don’t feel guilty. Neither should the team feel this way because you all played a hell of a game and fought until the bitter end.

Although suffering is painful, it is still necessary in order for individuals to move on. The physical stress that one can feel while going through this (fatigue, insomnia or hypersomnia, or changes in appetite) can make it even more painful, but it eventually leads to actual healing. It can be gradual, while others may go through it quick, but everyone can take the time they need – no person is comparable to another. Don’t feel a sense of urgency because you are allowed time to grieve well.

Recovery is not a clear-cut stage, because individuals often arrive at it at their own pace. In its duration, people become better adjusted to the loss, and their lives start, resembling of what they were before the loss they suffered. This does not mean you forget what happened, but you come to accept it, and find a way to cope with it happening. However, certain things can get in the way of the recovery process, such as being rushed into feeling better. When told that one needs to “get over it,” it hinders personal healing because you try to force yourself into being okay, when in actuality, it cannot be forced. So wear your Illini Final Four shirt until you please, and chant I-L-L! I-N-I! until your voice is gone.

Going through a loss can be overwhelming, but we need to know that grieving is a natural part of life and some situations definitely call for it. Sometimes, it helps to talk about it. I trust that we are a strong campus, and we will be recovered in no time. I mean, we witnessed the best team in Illinois basketball history, so we are not disappointed at all. I would like to say to the team that we are so proud of you, and we are not grieving because we lost, but we are sad because you deserved to win, and you are still number one to us! Stay positive!