Oh, the month of April. It’s that time of the year when everything piles up, and you find yourself pressed for time. It gets a lot harder to sit down and watch your favorite TV shows when you have what feels like a major test, project and paper due in every class on top of final exams. Not to mention taxes. These hassles are the story of my life, cutting into my TV time.

On Friday, though, I decided to work out at CRCE and was able to catch a re-run of a “Rob and Big” episode when their dog, Meaty, turns 2 years old (14 in dog years) and Rob wants to throw him a “Sweet 14” birthday party.

Big Black doesn’t understand why the dog needs a birthday party, and seems to think it is a ridiculous idea, but goes along with it anyway.

Rob decides to hire party planners that specialize in dog birthday parties. When the planners don’t agree with some of Rob’s ideas (they didn’t think a party ice luge that featured a peeing dog was classy and refused to include one in their party plans), Rob and Big decide to plan the extravagant party themselves.

The whole time I was watching, all I could think was, “Oh my God, there are actual dog birthday party planners and a bakery that specializes in birthday cakes for dogs.”

And for some reason this baker thinks it would be an atrocity if Rob were to sprinkle poop from his mini-horse on top of the cake because Meaty likes to eat it. He thinks THIS will ruin his reputation. Really dude? You make BIRTHDAY CAKES FOR DOGS!

This episode was outrageous and hilarious, and I had a hard time running in a straight line on my treadmill. But it made me wonder why our society is so ridiculously obsessed with conspicuous, outlandish consumption.

Rob and Big’s birthday bash for Meaty was just another one of their crazy whims, and they didn’t even take it very seriously. Yet, there are many people who do.

The fact that dog party planners actually exist makes me wonder about the state of our country. I don’t know which is worse, the people who throw their dog a party or the people who spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on their child’s party.

The most extreme example I’ve heard is that former defense contractor David H. Brooks of Long Island apparently spent $10 million on his daughter’s bat mitzvah in 2005, according to CNN.

Are you kidding? I mean, I’m sure your kid’s precious, Mr. Brooks, but there’s no way she’s that precious. Sadly, it seems conspicuous consumption is only getting worse.

According to People.com, Suri Cruise just turned two this month and had already started getting birthday presents in January. And when celebrities who revel in spending large amounts of money (i.e. Nicole Richie) start having kids, you know birthday parties are going to get even bigger and more excessive.

I just feel bad for average parents who feel pressured to spend a lot to make sure their kid is happy on their birthday.

Colleen is a junior in Media who realizes this isn’t a new phenomenon, but is still surprised parties have become so materialistic. She also wants you to watch South Park’s parody of MTV’s Sweet 16. She can be reached at [email protected]