Getting the most out of Easter’s sweet treats

Members of the D.I.’s Diversions staff share their best and worst holiday experiences and tips.

Top 5 overrated Easter basket items:

By Jim Vorel

5. Cadbury eggs: I’m not sure if I’ve ever actually eaten one, but I remain unimpressed. The fact that it purportedly came out of a rabbit that thinks it’s a chicken does not entice me.

4. Penny-filled plastic egg: The bank will convert your change, grandma. I don’t want these pennies any more than you do.

3. Good & Plenty’s: More like, uh…”Bad…and…Too Much’s”? Hm. Maybe I should do that one over.

2. All things coconut: self-explanatory.

1. Plastic, green, Easter grass: You know the Christmas season is here when you only find one or two pieces of Easter grass on the carpet or your clothing per day. I’m pretty sure that Easter grass I ingested in my first few Easters on this planet is still in my bloodstream, slowly working its way to my heart where it will someday strangle me with festive, waxy color.

Top 3 worst places the bunny has hid my Easter eggs:

By April Dahlquist

1. Under the plunger.

2. In the fireplace.

3. In the oven.

Top 5 places not to hide an Easter basket on campus

By Ellyn Newell

5. ACES Library: The crinkling of the confetti in the basket would be enough noise to get kicked out of that place.

4. Kam’s bathroom: No amount of candy is worth venturing into that place.

3. Any non-Christian place of worship: Because it’s just not politically correct. Get it together — we’re in college!

2. The cornfields: Because I don’t want to go through that much effort for a Snickers bar.

1. The Illini Media Building: You can be sure that one of us will find it before you get here. And all the chocolate will be gone.

Top 3 Uses for Leftover Peeps

By Hannah Hess

1. Peep jousting: For proper Peep jousting, you need an appropriate arena aka a clean microwave, preferably a model with a rotating plate so you can catch the match from multiple angles. Arm each Peep with a sturdy toothpick and pop them into the microwave for about a minute. Watch the opponents until the loser has been slain.

2. Peeptini: Mix 1 oz. limoncello, 1 oz. raspberry vodka and 1 teaspoon frozen pink lemonade in shaker with ice. Pour into glass. Float one pink Peep.

3. Peep s’more: Assemble classic s’more ingredients, substituting one Peep for the marshmallow. Pop the sweet stack into the microwave for 30 seconds and enjoy.