In a recent interview with Verve magazine, Janet Jackson stated that she regrets her apology for her wardrobe malfunction. Jackson claims the government vilified her in order to take the heat off the Bush administration.

It would not be the first time that a woman was vilified by the media for a relatively innocuous crime.

Let’s start way back with America’s kid sister, Monica Lewinsky. What person hasn’t pulled poor Monica’s ponytail and ran away laughing? People hate this woman, and I am not really sure why. Most women I know find President Clinton attractive – including myself (Holla, Bill. Call me).

So Monica got her freak on with her boss. Scandalous, yes. Criminal, no.

Of course, she later lied, which was criminal. But as they say on the rough streets of Chi-town, it takes two to tango. Where is her sizzling sidekick?

Gloating with his “because I could” line and – according to various tabloids of ill-repute – still pursuing women not representing New York in the U.S. Senate.

But is he the one the public is kicking around on the monkey bars?

No. Even those who find him offensive still find him likable. After all, what’s so crazy about a man wanting sex?

But I wonder if people come up to Bill at 7-Eleven and call him a slut. Of course, Bill would take it as a compliment, and soon everyone would be wearing “I’m a slut like Bill” T-shirts around the United States. Madonna would wear them and turn them chic. Corey Feldman would wear them, and the trend would die.

But that’s beside the point. Why is Paris Hilton called names by strange women at random gas stations? Sure, she is not the most politically correct girl in Manolo Blahniks, but whom has she really harmed? Personally, I feel as if she has enriched my life with her stellar use of the word “hot” and her obsession with miniskirts.

Whether she knew about Rick Solomon’s plan for “One Night in Paris” has yet to be drunkenly confessed on Howard Stern. Whether Janet, who already had a thriving career for decades, chose to pull a cheap publicity stunt also is unknown.

It doesn’t matter. They were still in trouble. Yet, their partners in crime, Rick Solomon and Justin Timberlake, are men without a past. Justin is at the Grammys, Rick is in L.A., and Janet and Monica are starting a Cat Lover’s Club.

The United States is obsessed with the idea of bad girls. Every soap opera or melodrama ever filmed proves that. The “femme fatale” is crucial to many a movie plot. Even today, it seems women must choose between good or bad, devil or angel, the girl next door or “The Girl Next Door,” or porn or motherhood (even Jenna Jameson admits you cannot do both).

Why aren’t men pegged this way?

In the past year and a half, I have been forwarded a “Girls are like Apples” e-mail from at least three different girlfriends. In this e-mail, girls are compared to apples sitting on top of a tree. The boys only reach for the apples closest to the ground, because they are easier to reach (i.e., the hos).

Therefore, the girls at the top feel bad about themselves since no one wants them. What’s the basic message? Hang in there and ignore them hos below you. The right guy will come and pick you soon enough.

Screw that. Girls are not apples. We are not waiting to be picked by the almighty man. No one, male or female, should hate women for having sex drives or showing a boob, whether it’s an accident or not. If you don’t agree with it, don’t do it. But don’t treat someone as less of a person by calling them a whore.

Let go of Janet. Get over Monica. Wave to Paris the next time you see her.

And, seriously, Bill, call me. I’m in the book.

Bridget Sharkey is a senior in LAS. Her column runs Mondays. She can be reached at [email protected].