Hundreds of years ago, Shakespeare wrote these immortal words for the character of Iago in his play Othello: “Who steals my purse steals trash: ’tis something, nothin’, ’twas mine, ’tis his, and has been slave to thousands. But he who filches from me my good name, robs me of that which not enriches him and makes me poor indeed.”

If the Bard speaks true, then Bill O’Reilly is one poor, poor millionaire.

This month, Andrea Mackris, a former associate producer of The O’Reilly Factor, accused her boss O’Reilly of sexual harassment in the work place. According to Mackris, O’Reilly gloated about how he lost his virginity; bragged about his sexual escapades in other countries; and also instructed her on how to use a vibrator – even going so far as to say “We should do it together, I could coach you through it.”

If these allegations are true, O’Reilly has a lot of explaining to do. First of all, why he is still bragging about how he lost his virginity? Unless it just happened a month ago – hey, anything is possible – it’s time to get over it. No one is interested in your 30 seconds of bliss on prom night in the school parking lot.

As for the vibrator, if he knows so much about it, maybe he and the Oxygen Channel’s Sue Johanson can hook up for an informative talk show on politics and edible panties. O’Reilly can kill two birds with one stone: He can get the youth of America to watch the news and show off the cool tongue trick he picked up in Brazil.

Of course, if the allegations are not true, O’Reilly’s career still is tainted. Once a celebrity is linked to scandal – especially a sex scandal – that scandal follows him or her for the rest of his or her life. This is especially true if you have made a number of enemies, which O’Reilly certainly has.

Take Ludacris for example. O’Reilly convinced Pepsi to drop Ludacris as a promoter by calling him a gangster rapper and accusing him of endorsing drug use and violence. O’Reilly, however, wrote a suspense novel in 1998 called Those Who Trespass, which features explicit language and sexual content.

Upon hearing about O’Reilly’s alleged sex talk, Ludacris said, “I’d be lying if I didn’t say it brings a smile to my face. These are words that I say and this mother f***** is saying the same words that I say and is criticizing me?”

Talk about the pot calling the kettle a rapper. O’Reilly apparently could have written a much dirtier version of “What’s Your Fantasy.”

Luckily, the public won’t be kept in the dark for long. Mackris claims to have taped conversations of O’Reilly making sexual advances and inappropriate comments to her. If the tape exists, O’Reilly’s career is definitely over. His show is primarily built on moral outrage, and if he is proven to be a morally corrupt character, the whole fa‡ade falls apart.

Mackris definitely has some evidence in her favor. For one thing, some of the stories sound too ridiculous and specific to be made up. Also, her claim that O’Reilly bragged about his Scandinavian exploits seems to be backed up by an old interview O’Reilly gave to Stuff magazine in which he said, “The most beautiful women in the world are located in two countries: Norway and Thailand.” Wink. Wink.

More importantly, both O’Reilly and Mackris want to keep the tapes from being made public. If he truly were innocent, wouldn’t he want the world to hear the alleged tapes? One can only conclude that he must be hiding something, even if it is just a few bawdy jokes.

If O’Reilly wants to keep his precious reputation, he’ll have to come clean to the public. Either he is the boring history teacher he always claimed to be, or the women in Scandinavia really do know him as “Big American Daddy.”

Bridget Sharkey is a senior in LAS. Her column runs Mondays. She can be reached at [email protected].