This is a my final column in opinions, and the odds are pretty good that it will follow a clich‚ formula. It’s like the series finale to your favorite TV show: No matter how great the show was, the final episode always manages to bore you to death. So for this, I apologize.

Keeping the formula in mind, I should say something about this semester. Maybe how it was this great, wild ride during election season, or how we learned so much and in the end came out better people. But that’s a lie. Face it, the left and right still hate each other on campus and beyond.

But really, we aren’t as different as you might imagine. I won’t tell you that “we’re all human on the inside” or some other New Age-enlightened-spiritual-humanistic-politically correct catchphrase. You won’t hear that crap from me. No, we’re alike in one single, depressing way: We’re all destroying America.

People thrive on conflict, and they have the uncontrollable urge to argue with one another. Typically, this makes us feel good about ourselves, what we do and what we have to say. We’re all egomaniacs, and we can’t wait to piss people off by proving them wrong.

We all have some grand vision for a perfect society. We want to imagine that our feeble minds hold the solution to every problem. We think we can bring people together, build bridges and bring down walls. But then, we somehow get caught up in becoming advocates for our own private agenda.

Naturally, the moment we develop solutions to these problems, we end up making things more difficult. I don’t pretend to be exempt from this, either. Many fail to realize that nobody can see any issue from all viewpoints or find common ground. The fact is, no matter what you do, you’re going to hurt someone to make someone else happy.

Continuing with the formula, I’m expected to provide some sort of closure to the issue, which you will witness me fail at because it’s impossible. No answer, statement, institution, philosophy, system or religion will ever bring us all together. We’ll always be divided and spiteful to a certain extent. Any time you even bother to think, you’ve probably just offended someone for existing.

The next part of the final-column formula says that I must make you feel good about whatever I just wrote. The bad news is that you can’t please everyone. The good news is that there’s a solution to our forever-divided nation: Stop caring so much.

We need to stop caring about race, religion, sexual orientation, political affiliation and class. Being concerned about those things never did society any good. Perhaps we’ll get rid of these labels based on outdated concepts. They exist only to serve as barriers against promoting a true America. When you stop caring about things that don’t really matter, you can begin to actually enjoy life. We should start to use common sense and find some middle ground that only slightly upsets either side.

This is the final part of the formula where I use the word “hope.” I hope I’ve made a few of you angry at me for what I wrote. I also hope that some of you found me entertaining. Maybe I gave you something new to consider or just wedged an even greater divide in between us. But if I’m really lucky, I failed and brought people a little bit closer together. I hope I didn’t do that, so I’d better make sure .

Have a good Christmas break. Not holiday break, not Festivus, not some other religious or ethnic holiday. Merry Christmas. And if you’ve taken my advice, you won’t be offended because you simply don’t care.