Next year, when voters return to the polls in midterm congressional elections, the Democratic Party will have a chance to make up for lost ground in both the U.S. House and the Senate. If the weakened but recently aggressive party leaders truly want to win back a few seats, it’s time for them to start playing by the rules of the GOP. And what is the Republican Party’s strategy? Act like the rules never existed.

Over the past few weeks, several Republicans have warned that the Democrats might try to make Republicans’ efforts to privatize Social Security a key attack point during the 2006 congressional elections. They then described such an effort as loathsome and desperate.

That’s funny. The Republican Party is accusing Democrats of using the same strategy Republicans shamelessly employed during the previous two elections. In 2002, the GOP suggested that voting for Republican congressional candidates would be a gesture of ensuring America’s security “in the wake of a national crisis.” Rarely was this claim backed by any substantial evidence, but that didn’t seem to matter much; Republicans gained seats in both houses of Congress. Oh, and let’s not forget the Republican National Committee’s widely circulated mailing to West Virginia voters in 2004, arguing that the Bible would be banned if Democrats were elected that November.

Why shouldn’t Democrats use the same type of generalized, factually weak arguments as a way to win in 2006? U.S. legislators are already reporting that constituents have approached them with a simple question that serves as more of a warning: “You’re not going to take away my Social Security, are you?”

If I were a Democratic strategist, I would be urging Democrats to “get nasty,” just like the Republicans, on the issue of Social Security. If you think voters in West Virginia responded favorably to the argument that Democrats would ban the Bible, you can bet they’ll react powerfully to the idea of Republicans taking their Social Security benefits away. People in West Virginia may love their Bibles, but they love their government benefits even more.

I’m not arguing that “Republicans will mess with your Social Security” is a completely factual statement to make. In fact, I’d say it’s somewhat stupid. But that reminds me of another stupid argument – implying that gay people are holding secret meetings to find out the best way to attack the institution of marriage. And in this country, it appears that stupid arguments can make a big difference politically.

Wake up, Democrats. You shouldn’t just be “satisfied” that the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) is running full-page ads in major American newspapers saying that President Bush intends to cut Social Security benefits; you should be working right alongside them to get the word out!

How is this tactic any different from Republicans who support Focus on the Family, a radical Christian organization that has all but compared the Democrats to the children of Lucifer? If the GOP is going to align itself with groups that spread blatant lies, then as pessimistic as it may sound, the Democrats will continue to lose elections if they don’t follow suit. Most people hate politics for this very reason, but if it’s your job to win a majority in Congress, you have to learn to play hardball.

The Democrats may have figured it out. They recently selected U.S. Rep. Rahm Emanuel and New York Sen. Charles Schumer to head the House and Senate campaign efforts, respectively. Both men are known for their strategic success, and neither man has shied away from using the “anything goes” attack method of the Republicans to win an election.

The donkey doesn’t have to be an endangered species. It simply must learn to adapt to a new environment – one in which elephants have learned to dominate the habitat by covering it with their own crap. And anyone who has ever been to the zoo knows how much crap elephants can create. The Democrats must learn to do the same, even if it stinks.