Pat Abbott, Editorial Cartoonist

For State Senate, 52nd District:

Mike Frerichs. As a cartoonist, I am barely literate, the editors are translating all of this from spirographs and etch-a-sketches. Even if i got someone to fill out my voter registration forms, I wouldn’t be able to read the names and would end up drawing my picks on the write in slot. There are no dinosaur candidates, or robot candidates, and I don’t think drawings are accepted as votes.

For the Illinois 52nd, Mike Frerichs’ height advantage and superior reach should quickly wear down Judy Myers. Frerichs wins by TKO in the fourth.

For U.S. Congress, 15th District:

David Gill. For the U.S. Congress, Dr. Gill doesn’t stand a chance, Timothy V. Johnson has spent almost half his campaign money on paper clips, so check your voting machine.

As for the rest of the races, terrorists seem to be endorsing both Democrats and Republicans depending on who you hear from, so I’m drawing a picture of a robot dinosaur.

Tyler Friederich, columnist

For Illinois Governor:

Judy Baar Topinka. She’s not Blagojevich, who seems to think he’s governor of Chicago. Topinka won’t have to spend thousands of tax dollars to heat the governor’s mansion’s driveway since Blagojevich already took care of that.

For State Senate, 52nd District:

Judy Myers. She possesses a true interest in aiding the students at this University through increased funding to the school. Her opponent, Mike Frerichs, has very little integrity as evidenced by the smear ad campaigns.

For Tennessee Senator:

Harold Ford Jr. He’s a bi-partisan conservative Democrat who will work with politicians on both sides of the aisle to get things done. His opponent, Bob Corker, reflects the stereotypical politician we have all come to despise (who will, as always, end up winning).

Lally Gartel, columnist

For Illinois Governor:

Rich Whitney. The only candidate who doesn’t take corporate contributions, who is not caught up in scandal and who has openly supported HB 750, a crucial education bill in Illinois. Polling well in Illinois, Whitney stands to establish the Green Party in Illinois for elections to come.

For State Representative, 103rd District:

Tom Abram. Former University of Illinois student, Abram offers a progressive and fresh alternative to current Democratic incumbent Jakobsson. He focuses on adequate funding for the University, alternative energy development in Champaign and Urbana, and also stands to establish the Green party in Champaign county.

Andrew Mason, columnist

Nationwide Predictions:

David Gill upsets Tim Johnson in a total surprise. Bob Corker defeats Harold Ford Jr. in the Tennessee Senate race and Jim Webb defeats George Allen.

Blago wins by less than five points and Whitney wins more than 15 percent of the vote in a race that makes national news. Expect widespread legal action in Missouri in the event of a close election between McCaskill and Talent.

Most importantly, Democrats take the House with a less than 10 seat majority and Republicans hold the Senate 51-48-1(Lieberman).

For Texas Governor:

Kinky Friedman should be elected Texas Governor because if he has the guts to campaign with a name like Kinky in the Lonestar state, then he has the guts to push through some much needed reform.

John Bambenek, columnist

For Illinois Governor (and everything else):

Eric Naing. I researched the bulk of candidates presented to me for election this November and I found myself underwhelmed. In an environment of corruption and meaningless attack ads, I have found only one candidate I can support. That is why I’m writing in Eric Naing for every office.

Sure, he’s no Gordon T. Gnome but he has an IQ above 70, unlike Rod, and has a pulse, unlike Judy. He’ll bring into office what we need most: people who aren’t politicians.

Eric Naing, columnist

For Illinois Governor:

John Bambenek. Blagojevich is corrupt, Topinka is (for lack of a better description) a Republican and you have no idea who Rich Whitney is. What’s a voter to do? Write in John Bambenek for governor of course!

The son of a Mongolian goat herder, Bambenek single-handedly ended Communism and escaped to America where he now works to provide AIDS orphans in Africa with an education, seriously (well, at least the last part). The only way to fix Illinois is to vote for the only man who ever beat Abraham Lincoln at arm wrestling. This Tuesday, write in Bambenek for Governor, otherwise we’ll all die.

Brian Pierce, columnist

For U.S. Congress, 15th District:

David Gill. When David Gill challenged Tim Johnson two years ago in the heavily Republican 15th congressional district on a health care reform and anti-war platform he was in a word, crushed, partly because of his unwavering commitment to running a clean campaign. But given the current political climate and the fact that his positions on the big issues have gone from being perceived as ultraliberal to being mainstream, he’s got half a chance at winning, and deserves to more than ever.

For State Senate, 52nd District:

Mike Frerichs. For a liberal college campus crowd Mike Frerichs, the moderate Democratic candidate for state senate in the 52nd district running against Judy Myers, might not appear to offer a great deal. But there is one issue you should keep in mind before you go vote (or before you decide to stay home): embryonic stem cell research. Frerichs supports this potentially life-saving research, Myers doesn’t. Enough said.

Emma Claire Sohn, columnist

For State Representative, 103rd District:

Tom Abram. A recent graduate currently employeed by the University as an energy engineer, Tom Abram is a true “representative” of the 103rd district. Abram is one of the few candidates on the ballot who understands the dire need to reform educational funding throughout the state and energy-use nationally. Also, he bears a slight resemblance to Jake Gyllenhaal. Needless to say, he got my vote.

For U.S. Congress, 15th District:

Dr. David Gill. A physician by trade, Gill is running a campaign on the politics of kindness, an ideal many Democrats have thrown by the wayside in favor of corporate money and their own personal interests. Gill boldly backs reform in health care, education, social justice and environmental concerns rather than half-heartedly favoring a centralized stance with hopes of gaining a broader range of support. Dr. David Gill is an honest man who will provide Congress with the conscience it so desperately needs.

George Ploss, columnist

For Illinois Attorney General:

Lisa Madigan. She’s a rare breed, intelligent, hot and a Democrat. And you thought the Republicans had them all.

For U.S. Congress, 1st District (Chicago South Side):

Bobby Rush. I’m voting for him because he’s black and that’s all I need to know. Not to vote for him would be un-American. Black Power.

For U.S. Congress, 10th District (Chicago North Shore):

Mark Kirk. He reps his district’s views accurately and if he loses, the end of days shall come and the battle of Middle-earth will begin and our troops will get out of Iraq and fight the axis of evil against Sauron and Mordor.