Not my panties drawer, of course. Rather, they belong to a friend whose room I ambled into the other day. The scene looked like any other domestic dispute between two roommates – one with her hands planted firmly on her hips while the other violently waved a half-empty bottle of gummy bear vitamins in the air. In any other situation, this might have been a fight over who was sneaking whose food. But given the ajar undergarments drawer, this was no ordinary food dispute. The following is the duo’s bickering:

Friend One: “I’m just saying that I thought we wouldn’t have to worry about your gummy bear problem anymore if they were somewhere safe.”

Friend Two: “So you hid my vitamins from me?! I need them. You know that!” Friend Two lunged at Friend One, trying to pry the bottle away from her vise grip. Their struggle caused the gelatinous bear blobs inside the bottle to rattle back and forth haphazardly, like balls flying inside a child’s corn popper.

Friend One: “Nobody needs gummy bear vitamins, you bear addict!”

And she was right. Earlier that week, Friend One had discovered Friend Two inhaling fistfuls of her gummy-bear-shaped vitamin supplements. She denied eating more than the two bears per day recommended by the nutritional facts label, but Friend One confiscated the economy-sized bottle of vitamins as a precautionary measure.

Friend One: “I put them in with my panties because I know that’s the one place you’d never look. You obviously can’t be trusted to take your own vitamins anymore. It was the only way.”

Friend Two: “WHO WANTS TO EAT GUMMY BEARS THAT HAVE BEEN SITTING NEXT TO YOUR PANTIES?!”

She continued to fight for the bottle, despite her disgust with its discovered hiding place.

Watching their titanic struggle as I rolled up my sleeves, I felt slightly ridiculous intervening in such a trivial matter. I shouted down their unintelligible bickering, and snatched the gummy bears from their clawing hands.

This University is brimming with quirky people. From professors who click their tongues like native speakers of Xhosa, to that one guy who Rollerblades through the Quad at night scream-singing at the top of his lungs, we’ve got plenty of oddity. By comparison, my friend’s gummy bear vitamin dependency probably isn’t too bizarre. But the scene of two grown women arguing over children’s gummy bear vitamins being stuffed inside a drawer full of underwear is one worth remembering for light-hearted cocktail party anecdotes.

The idea of two-a-day gummy bear vitamins spiraling into abusive drug relationships, though, is much more familiar and commonplace than we might give it credit. Substituting the gummy bears with more age-appropriate foods, we realize that we abuse weight-loss pills, creatine and caffeine far too easily.

Though a bit caricaturized, my friend’s habit of downing an entire bottle of 200 gummy vitamins in a week is emblematic of a feel-good, instant gratification attitude that envelopes our generation. I can’t say that I completely blame her for loving them, the vitamins do look and taste exactly like gummy bear candies. Yet self-control and moderation is a value we should all take in – well, with moderation – just as we do with our daily vitamin fix.

I had known about Friend Two’s addiction for a few days by the time I’d walked in on the panties drawer argument. Friend One had told me about her roommate’s problem and had planned to stage an intervention. Sensing a more diplomatic solution, I sat Friends One and Two down and played the role of the stern father. Like reluctant siblings, Friend One apologized for stashing the bottle in with her underwear, and Two pledged to break her gummy bear vitamin gorging.

The resolution seems to have worked well. It’s been at least a week and the bottle of gummy bear vitamins now sits atop the duo’s shared dresser. The teddies appear to be being consumed at a normal pace, and not a single panty has been used to hide the bottle since the incident.

And they lived happily ever after.

Henry is a freshman in Business. He knows the dangers of gummy bear vitamins, having fought and conquered his own addiction to them years ago.