Zook Zone towel user instructions: Purchase towel (or receive for free), place towel in hand, raise arm with towel above head, swing wildly.

While head coach Ron Zook and the football team tried to direct the home fans to unleash a towel arsenal upon the Minnesota Golden Gophers on Saturday, the sea of orange rags was quickly replaced by a flood of yellow flags on the first two plays of the game. Minnesota was then able to take advantage of the short field en route to an opening drive touchdown.

From then on, it was only downhill as the Illini lost 27-20 in front of a sold-out Homecoming crowd that used the Zook Zone towels as covers for their embarrassed faces rather than a means of inspiring the team.

“We didn’t deserve to win that game,” Zook said immediately after beginning his press conference. “Just because you go to Michigan and win a game doesn’t mean anything.”

While I agree the Illini (3-3, 1-2 Big Ten) didn’t deserve to walk away with a victory Saturday, they played well enough to win. Look at almost any stat except the final score, and you would probably have thought the Illini won.

“As far as the numbers, you wouldn’t have thought we lost,” said wide receiver Arrelious Benn who had an impressive day with 12 receptions for 181 yards.

Too bad the only stat that actually matters is the score.

As frustrating as it was to watch this game, perhaps even more frustrating was the complete lack of consistency shown by the Illini in their play on a game-to-game basis. From the highest high at Michigan to the lowest low against Minnesota, we’ve seen how good and bad this team can be.

Offense

The offense had 550 total yards against the Gophers defense, but only 88 yards came on the ground. Quarterback Juice Williams threw for a career-high 462 yards, but as we have seen time and time again, this Illini team is built around the running game.

Offensive coordinator Mike Locksley once again abandoned his bread and butter plays (draws and other delayed handoffs) in favor of 42 passing attempts and an option attack that resulted in 2.7 yards per rush attempt. What won the Illini a game last week was replaced by a passing strategy that has yet to yield a winning result this year.

The team was also uncharacteristically shut out in the first quarter, the only time that has happened all season, and they scored the least amount of points in the first half of any game thus far. Plus two crucial turnovers at pivotal points in the game led to easy touchdowns for the Gophers. All of this against one of the worst defenses in the conference.

So why shift away from a running attack that has been the team’s most consistent offensive tool all year? The world may never know.

Defense

The Illini defense actually played a decent game statistically (holding Minnesota to only 312 yards of offense all game), but the unit had trouble stopping the big play.

Let’s not fool ourselves, Minnesota’s offense really revolves around only one player: wide receiver Eric Decker. So it seems the plan would be to shut him down, right?

Wrong. Decker (nine receptions, 86 yards, one touchdown) got open on too many crucial third downs and was often matched up against defensive backs not named Vontae Davis. Although Decker’s only touchdown catch made Vontae look overmatched for perhaps the first time in his Illini career, the whole defense came out flat to allow the Gophers to drive the ball 60 yards for that score.

It was one of two Minnesota drives that resulted in more than 40 yards of offense, but it set the whole tone for the day to come.

Special teams

OK, maybe I’ll make an exception with this whole inconsistency thing for the special teams … but that’s not a good thing.

For yet another week, the special teams unit found a way to entertain me with their hilariously bad play. Kicker Michael Cklamovski booted two kickoffs gratuitously out of bounds; Matt Eller missed a 45-yard field goal; and Benn misplayed a kickoff that ended up with the Illini starting at their own 2-yard line.

I can’t wait to see what they’ve got coming next week.

Coaching

I think most of us can agree the superior team athletically did not win the game Saturday, and the only people you can put that on is the coaches.

I mentioned Locksley’s refusal to commit to a running plan that has proven to be nothing but successful for the Illini this season, but you also have to blame the coaches for being unable to pump this team up mentally and emotionally.

Maybe practice was too relaxed all week or maybe they let the win over Michigan cause an emotional hangover, but the product on the field in Champaign was not what I saw in Ann Arbor last week. At Michigan Stadium, this team was angry and had something to prove. Saturday, they looked timid and afraid to screw up.

Say what you will about Zook’s knowledge of the game, but the man is 100 percent intensity all the time. Somehow he has to translate that over to his players.

I don’t really expect to see many Zook Zone towels around Memorial Stadium next week when the Hoosiers come to town. After all, they’re just a fad. But it appears now this lack of consistent play is something that is going to stick with the Illini for the rest of the season.

2008 Fighting Illini fan instructions: Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, watch the game, have no expectations.

Kyle Betts is a graduate student. He can be reached at [email protected].