It’s not that I dislike the red brick. Our school’s Georgian architecture has a sense of classic charm that suits the endless stretches of cornfields. But the same rigid redness of the campus can get to be a little dull.

I can’t help but wonder how much cooler Champaign-Urbana would be if everything were designed by Frank Gehry. If Foellinger were torn down and redesigned as some sort of cool shapeless heap of curved metals, I contend freshman attendance at Fred Gottheil’s 8 a.m. Intro to Microeconomics lecture would skyrocket. And while commercial airline pilots might be blinded flying over the University’s reflective campus on sunny days, these are the kinds of small sacrifices we will all have to make to carry the dream of a fantastically hodgepodgedly designed school into reality.

The McFarland Memorial Bell Tower, erected over this past summer on the south quad, is a nuisance. First conceptualized as a renovation for Altgeld Hall, the plans for a new bell set on campus changed when it became clear that a carillon style bell set wouldn’t fit inside the math building.

Instead, imagine my sense of utter horror as, on the first day of classes – the ACES library looming like a hellish Mt. Doom in the background – the spitting image of Sauron’s Tower rose up into the sky while I trekked to class. The perverse scene of Mordor-in-central-Illinois made me wonder what fantasy fanboy signed off on the project. Peter Jackson would have saved money in the bank if he’d postponed filming for a few years and cast our new bell tower in the role of Sauron instead.

Since then, the tower has taken on a more phallic appearance on the south quad with the installation of 49 bells and a graceless top-cap roof. As construction on the tower continues and layers of classic Illini red brick are laid over the concrete structure, I wonder if a second set of bells on campus is garishly unnecessary. Altgeld works fine, and unless the McFarland Bell Tower plays the Lord of the Rings theme song, I am unamused and unimpressed.

The Eiffel Tower met similar criticisms when it was first constructed, but I have a feeling that this particular odious tower, while likely to become an established landmark at Illinois, is not destined to become the backdrop of romantic Hollywood makeout scenes.

Meanwhile, late last week, the College of Business celebrated the official opening of its own new building: a red bricked and shining glassed building begging-the-questionly named: Business Instructional Facility. BIF for short.

I had the distinct pleasure of meeting BIF’s architect, Cesar Pelli last week while the likes of University President B. Joseph White and Chancellor Richard Herman rained heavy praise on the man who designed the University’s first environmentally “green” facility. Administrators have triumphantly announced that, with BIF, we are stepping into a new era for the College of Business. The enormous atrium, state-of-the-art classrooms, and world-class interview rooms are ready to propel the College many steps forward.

But as I shook Cesar Pelli’s hands excitedly like a star-struck Miley Cyrus fan, I got the feeling his appreciation for this work of art – across the street from the decrepit Armory – is more aligned with how I and other students feel.

Yours truly managed to hide in a corner classroom passed closing time in BIF last week, working feverishly to cram 8 weeks of accounting material into 8 hours of studying. Past 11 p.m., BIF becomes a still and silent work of wonder.

Paying respect to the University’s architectural roots, the sides of BIF are laid in red brick, but facing southward, the curved glass face and vaulted wooden ceiling stare out towards a starlit prairie night.

BIF is for its students. The faculty, College and its all-important reputation will benefit enormously. But Cesar Pelli set out to design a masterpiece for this and future generations of Illini business students. It’s been built for the ambitious and the procrastinating. It’s been built as an amazing setting for post-midnight cramming. And in every respect, BIF succeeds.

All BIF needs now is an exorbitantly wealthy donor. Welcome to the H.A. Soong Center for Business Instruction. Your check is in the mail, Chancellor Herman.

Henry is a sophomore in business. He proposes the McFarland Bell Tower bells be removed, and for comic effect, that a prank all-seeing Eye of Sauron be reinstalled indefinitely. An occasional volcanic eruption from the ACES Library is also graciously requested.