Dear Mom and Dad,

By now you might have received a letter in the mail from Chancellor Richard Herman, warning you about a campus event called Unofficial St. Patrick’s Day. They asked you to tell me to act in my best interests as well as the University’s, “if you think (I) may patronize campus bars or private parties.” They also let you know that along with Unofficial comes heavy bouts of drinking that can be very dangerous.

They might try to make you think they’re looking out for my best interests, but their letter to you seemed just a safety precaution in the event that something bad does happen, to say that they warned you. If they really wanted to try to make me feel safe, they would be talking to us, the students, and not you.

So their precautionary message aside, I’d like you to hear my take on it.

First, you must know that the reality of the situation is that you sent me off to a Big Ten college where drinking happens – often. You had to have known that I would be exposed at one point or another to drinking, whether it was at a Greek event, a bar or an apartment party. And although you might wish I’d look the other way when someone first offered me a drink, it was my choice. For a lot of students, college is the first time we get to make our own decisions, and although we sometimes make the wrong ones, it’s a necessary initiation to the real world.

You should trust in my judgement and in my character that I can handle myself, as you have raised me to be a sensible person, and I’d like to think you should be proud of me.

With experience comes knowledge. By now, the University and other organizations have taught me how to safely consume alcohol. While Unofficial is notorious for people taking it to the extreme, take comfort in the fact that it is probably safer for me to be at the bars than at somebody’s apartment. At a bar, the bartender can cut us off from drinking too much; they only serve drinks in plastic cups; and they make sure to follow occupancy rules. It’s also much more difficult for people to buy drinks if they are underage.

It’s also a poor decision on the University’s part to not allow any visitors in residence halls for the weekend. Instead of allowing people in the to sleep in friends’ rooms in residence halls, the visitors – which are inevitably going to come – will end up sleeping in cars or at other friends’ apartments. This is even more dangerous than having a bunch of kids cramming into a room where they’ll be under the supervision of resident advisors.

When it comes down to it, a significant part of the college experience is learning how to trust in yourself and make your own sensible decisions. And part of being a parent is trusting that you raised us right to make sensible decisions.

The fact that the University asked you to tell me what to do instead of talking to me first is degrading. They tell us all the time that we’re adults. Sending you a letter without talking to me seems backwards. We know you won’t treat us the same.