So you’re not celebrating today’s “unofficial” University celebration. Maybe you are underage and do not want to risk getting caught, maybe your lifestyle doesn’t include drinking or maybe you think it’s a waste of time and don’t buy into the excitement behind it. Well, whatever your excuse is, don’t feel bad. In the spirit of official St. Patrick’s Day being on the 17th, here are 17 activities, not in any particular order, that you can do today instead of drinking yourself to numbness.

1. Go to class. This seems like the obvious thing to do, and hey, you might actually learn something new and have the edge on your absent classmates when it comes to exam time.

2. Do homework. If all of your friends are out partying, and you have a ton of time on your hands, why not? It’s probably not my top choice of Unofficial activities but to each his (or her) own.

3. Sleep. You don’t need a reason to do this.

4. Go see “Watchmen.” The new action-packed superhero film comes out in theaters, and hopefully, should be the best DC Comics-inspired film since the Batman series.

5. See Lucky Boys Confusion play at the Canopy Club. They usually end up coming down here about 50 times each year, so if you haven’t already seen them live, this is a great opportunity. I was just kidding about the 50 times, but seriously, they’re good.

6. Check out “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying” at the Krannert Center for the Performing Arts. This musical satire about corporate America won a Pulitzer Prize for its original production in 1961. A good laugh about the business world would certainly be much better than thinking about it in its current state.

7. Instead of the bars, take a stroll to a coffee shop. If you want a similar experience to the bars, take a shot of espresso; you’ll get a good buzz and won’t kill your brain cells.

8. Educate yourself. It’s Islam Awareness Week, so go check out an open house at the Central Illinois Mosque and Islamic Center earlier in the day or go to Gregory Hall for an evening film screening.

9. Go work out at the ARC or CRCE. They’ll probably be empty, right?

10. Celebrate a birthday. Happy birthday Shaq!

11. Cheer on the Fighting Illini men’s tennis team (11-3) as they take on the Northwestern Wildcats (11-2) at the Atkins Tennis Center. I-L-L!

12. Catch up on your favorite TV shows of the season. Technology has made it so easy to view anything online, so you’ll have no problem reliving the controversial finale of “The Bachelor,” the exciting wild-card round of “American Idol,” or the hilarity that transpires on Valentine’s Day in yesterday’s episode of “The Office.”

13. Swing by the Armory for the first of three days of the Illini Juggling and Unicycle Club Annual Convention. It’s probably a good idea to make sure you are indeed sober when you attend this event.

14. Go home. There’s never a bad time to see mom and dad, and by the way, if you’re from Chicagoland, I heard there’s half-priced tickets online for the Bulls game. Get on that!

15. Break out the Frisbees and footballs and hit the Quad because the temperature is higher, and you’ll want to enjoy this “tease weather” for as long as possible.

16. Watch drunk people and the things they do. That should be enough entertainment for the whole weekend.

17. Conserve your energy for the real St. Patrick’s Day. This year, it is not during the University’s spring break, so no need to tire yourself out from all of the festivities, if you’d rather wait.

Remy is a junior in communication and English and is just looking out for the entire student body by suggesting alternative activities. However, if you don’t want to do any of the above, join him in celebrating Unofficial 2009.