It’s finally hitting that time of year again where University students are dropping their faces into their textbooks and smacking the sides of their heads with the front and back covers. This is all done in an effort to kill any remaining brain cells that haven’t already been overworked by the semester — we are all looking to put ourselves out of this academic misery.

OK, call me dramatic, but what I’m trying to say is that this time of the year is downright rough.

On top of the midterms and essays that are sucking the lives out of us, we are expected to put toothy smiles on our faces and throw on our best business formal attire to please potential employers for upcoming summer internships and job opportunities. Even in reference to the all-campus career fair that took place on Tuesday, the Career Center enthusiastically pitched to us, “Present your best self!” 

By saying this, the Career Center, and the University overall, is alluding to the fact that we have different selves — one for the career fair, one for at home — and probably a pretty ratchet one for KAM’S. This statement encourages us to develop a sense of self that fits into what others expect from us in any given situation.  

And that is essentially what college is all about — it’s like a giant, glamorized beauty pageant, and we are all sashaying our way through college like “Toddlers and Tiaras” on the stage of capitalism.

Though I call attention to this weird college phenomenon that is not unlike Darwin’s survival of the fittest, I am no less guilty of being a part of it.

My dad said it best when he was telling me that at this stage of my life, I will be continually molding myself to the wants and expectations of others so that I can end up in an amazing career. Meanwhile, he sat in his La-Z-Boy chair, beer in hand, and said something to the extent of, “At my age, when it comes to getting jobs, they either like me or they don’t. I ain’t changing for no one.”

It was funny because I never really thought of it that way before. I never considered the fact that I, as well as others my age and in my position, am just forming myself to fit into a frame of what society wants me to be. 

While I understand the necessity of this process of self-presentation and selling ourselves so we can land the job, I can’t help but feel like I am participating in a giant circus act with performers in clown makeup, breathing fire, juggling and doing acrobatics in hopes of standing out from the rest of the crowd.

Although I mostly just feel like the huge grey elephant trudging along slowly like an idiot with the hopes of being noticed.

And I find it rather frustrating that in this time of self-discovery, despite all of the hard work, effort and learning that I am putting in behind the scenes on a day-to-day basis, I am only as good as my resume — which by the way is pretty kick-ass right now, so holler at my Chicago media internships! 

To an employer, I am first a piece of paper and then a person. 

But that’s just the thing — I am making decisions and participating in activities knowing in the back of my mind what a “resume builder” it is, demonstrating how ingrained this idea of self presentation is in our heads.

Resumes recognize all of these objective skills and accomplishments that a person possesses, but meanwhile I’m like, where on here do I put my astounding ability to recite the alphabet backwards and name the states in alphabetical order? And where is the appropriate spot to talk about how I can recall really insignificant quotes from movies?

Granted, resumes and abilities are required for pretty much anyone of any age for any job. But, in particular, college is training us to transform ourselves into the people that society and employers want us to be in terms of how we present ourselves on paper and how we conduct ourselves at interviews and career fairs — which are necessary to get to that all-mighty dollar we all disgustingly value.

Meanwhile, our passions, interests and unique traits are sidelined and not fully discovered until after we have already been judged and placed into our positions in society.

It’s not even that I look to “defy the system” or argue that we should not be looking to build our skill-sets and bring our talents to new jobs and organizations. What I am looking to do, though, is emphasize how much is expected of college students, and young adults in general, to act in a certain way in hopes of becoming successful. 

And ultimately, I just want somewhere on my resume to brag about being able to recite the alphabet backwards.

Nicki is a junior in Media. She can be reached at [email protected]. Follow her on Twitter @NickiHalenza.