There is something so right about a good ’80s romantic comedy. That moment in “The Breakfast Club” when Judd Nelson throws his fist in the air in celebration of landing the right girl and the scene in “Say Anything” when John Cusack, as a grand gesture, stands outside his girl’s window with a boom box. 

From a very young age, we all believe that someday we will meet someone, form a connection and start dating; the rest will be history. Romantic comedies fill our minds with ideas of what dating should be and what we have to look forward to when we find the person who is right for us. Although the plot and characters aren’t always realistic, most of us hope to eventually form relationships at least somewhat like the ones movies portray. 

And our college years should be a time to do that — to explore dating and see where the process takes us. However, these days, it is not that simple.

Throughout my last three years on campus, I have noticed, increasingly, that we are part of a culture that is more focused on casual hook-ups and less on committed dating relationships. This “hook-up culture” emphasizes and encourages casual sex, lack of commitment and little attachment. 

This culture makes meaningful dating in college really difficult, and if we are not careful, I think it could extinguish the process all together.

In an Elite Daily article regarding hook-up culture, another good point is made that whichever partner cares less seems to come out on top. Becoming attached to someone, showing interest and pursuing that interest seems frowned upon, and, far too often, the one who cares more is labeled as a “stage-five clinger.”

Being the first person to send a text, ask the one you’re interested in out on a date, or pick up the phone to call them are all behaviors I have seen labeled as clingy.

In my opinion, traditional chivalry and courtship, from both men and women, are tough to come across on our campus. With such a high focus on “having fun,” people often forget what it is like to actually date another. They forget how nice it can be to have a loving confidant to spend quality time with. Pressures from social groups also make it difficult to decide to commit to someone, especially if your friends are not on board with the idea.

The sad reality, I have noticed, is that when you meet someone at a bar on campus, there is often an underlying expectation for it to go further than just a causal get-to-know-you conversation. The media and common beliefs about college campuses seem to glorify casual sex and make it seem like the norm.

While casual hook-ups might make you feel like you are getting the college experience, it is hard for me to believe that one can start a meaningful relationship without getting to know a prospective partner before things get physical. More often than not, a hook-up is just a hook-up. 

All of us on campus should have fun and meet new people, but that doesn’t have to happen at 2 a.m. after the bars close. We should promote a culture that doesn’t focus so heavily on hooking up. I am very much a believer of committed dating relationships, and, in order to change the hook-up culture, students should be brave enough to break the mold.

If you see someone in a class, on the quad, at a bar or on your floor that you like, tell them. There is nothing wrong with refusing to conform to hook-up culture. 

Personally, I believe there is something nice about going on an old-fashioned date to get food or even going on a walk around campus. It’s so rewarding and refreshing to know there are people who are genuinely interested in learning about you as a person. 

And although hook-up culture does make dating a little more difficult in college, there is still hope if both parties are willing.

If they are, it might end up like some of those ’80s movies, which remind us just how great it can feel to fall for someone. Although dating in college can be messy, with a little bit of effort and courage, we can step out of the hook-up culture and find our own Judds, Johns and Molly Ringwalds.

Rebecca is a senior in LAS. She can be reached at [email protected].