Dear freshmen of the University: this is for you.

And no, this is not an “open letter.” I am simply directing this article toward you youngsters with the expectation that you will take my whole entire year of prior experience as evidence that I am wiser than you.

I am a party animal, as this article can clearly attest to (this article definitely isn’t being written on a Friday night at 9 p.m. in my room or anything), and have seen my fair share of bars.

From the big drunken fraternity guys who ice out on top of people to The Red Lion’s horrifying bathrooms, our bars are downright disgusting.

Taking this problem into my own hands as the sweet, amazing and caring girl I pretend to be when writing Daily Illini columns, I’m about to turn this campus’s bar scene around.

It all starts with you, young’uns.

Being both a try-hard and a realist, I understand we must pick and choose our battles when it comes to fighting the war that is college bar etiquette.

We are Illini, and we will ice out our Blue Guys drinks (only once we can buy them on our 21st birthdays, of course), but this can be done in a more polite manner. For starters, notice the strategically placed garbage cans in the bars on campus. You can use these amenities for novel ideas such as icing out or even throwing away your trash!

I can already see the look on every upperclassman’s face as they read this — it isn’t pretty — however, if you are by a garbage can before you are about to take the ice out of your drink, remember that there is no reason not to use it.

Additionally, a message to those who ice out wherever they are standing, no matter the circumstances, please be courteous to those of us who are vertically challenged.

No one wants a pant leg covered in cold beer and ice. It’s bound to happen during spills throughout the night anyway, but there is a difference between that and purposefully targeting someone while icing out.

We’re all trying to enjoy our night at the bar, so why not try and be courteous to your fellow Illini?

Another key area of bar etiquette in serious need of a campuswide upgrade is booth seating next to the bar. Nothing is worse than trying to order over a huge group of people basically holding a filibuster across five booth seats.

Please realize that you are sitting in a space that separates the legal, exclusively 21-year-old drinkers from their tequila shots, and, for their benefit, try to part the drunk sea like Moses so that they may squeeze through you and order their alcohol.

Also, when the bartender finally does get to you, have your drink order ready and say it loudly and clearly. Nothing is more annoying than standing around the bar forever holding your debit out to get the bartender’s attention.

Slowing down that process even the slightest bit is just selfish, and it pushes each of us further away from that sweet state of mind where we can confidently make terrible decisions.

Alcohol makes people do things they wouldn’t otherwise do, obviously, and the bathrooms at our bars on campus can confirm this.

“Red Lion is disgusting. The first thing that comes to my mind when I walk in there is that it looks like people pee on the ground…is that beer or pee?” said Alex Nemeh, sophomore in LAS.

Girls have an equally gross setting, according to Tavi Hristova, a freshman in ACES: “The girls don’t flush, and they should flush because that’s gross. Also they don’t throw away garbage, it’s just on the ground.”

Sadly, Alex and Tavi are correct: the bathrooms at campus bars are deplorable. However, I believe in the power of the freshmen to begin a new trend in bathroom cleanliness. What is so great is the simplicity in this change; all anyone really wants is to walk into a bathroom without seeing people puking (or peeing) in the sinks.

Better yet, just throw your paper towels and cups in the trash cans that are so readily available.

The bathrooms are going to be gross, but with your help, it is possible to start a new generation of people that will do what they can to make the bar bathrooms slightly less repulsive.

This doesn’t just go out to the freshmen. My fellow Illini, experienced bar-goers , you can pick up the slack by following these rules to bar etiquette as well.

We’re the number one party school for a reason–we love to have fun- but it is possible to do this in an environment that doesn’t make our bars look like a landfill.

Leah is a sophomore in Media.

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