Single parents have one of the toughest jobs, and they deserve all the praise and recognition for everything they do, often all on their own. However, it’s more often than not that society praises the single father and looks down upon the single mother. This view of parenthood hurts both mothers and fathers, furthering the judgment all parents receive. 

Single fathers are told they are “superheroes” for doing the absolute bare minimum that single mothers are simply expected to do. Some may explain this by saying that single fathers are simply better parents than single mothers, and that is why they are praised so much. However, research shows that the outcomes of single mothers and single fathers are comparable and don’t hold much variability in child welfare. So, single mothers and single fathers fare the same.

So where does this difference in perception come from? The answer: sexist expectations.

Women, since the beginning of time, have been told they should be mothers and that that should be their priority, if not their purpose. In fact, the Pew Research Center finds that 77% of adults say women face immense pressure to be involved parents, while only 49% say the same for men.  

Society sees the role of parenthood to be the woman’s responsibility and for men, it’s seen as an option. The expectation placed on women to automatically be “good” parents means that as single mothers, they are held to an automatically higher standard they will be shamed for not meeting. 

The alternative lens holds that men who are single parents are seen to be taking up a role that they didn’t have to take up in the first place — and are thus praised. 

The basis for these ideas is seen in the societal perception of fathers in general. It may seem like having this “positive” attitude towards single fathers is a compliment, but in reality, it’s actually pretty harmful to fathers as well.

When fathers are seen taking care of their children, people will often comment on how incredible it is that the parent is “babysitting,” as if the child isn’t their own. This goes back to this sexist notion that parenting is required of mothers, but is not a requirement for fathers. 

The effects of this ideology also invalidates the role of fathers, augmenting the belief that they aren’t as capable or responsible for their children. This can also translate into biases against fathers, where teachers turn to the mother to discuss children’s issues, and juries assume mothers are the default choice for gaining custody of children.

This ideal is so incredibly outdated and it’s time we learn to rid ourselves of these unfair narratives for parents everywhere.

When any person makes the decision to be a parent, they make the decision to raise the child as much as their partner. This includes every aspect of raising a child, for all parents. Single parents have already taken up the job of raising children on their own, an incredible feat in itself. As a society, we need to work to make the lives of single parent families easier – not more difficult.

Sanchita is a sophomore in LAS.

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