Before deciding drinks are on you at Legends this upcoming Dads Weekend, make sure your dad knows your birthday first.

Across the board, dads should live up to a certain standard. They’re the first person you go to when your car starts making mysterious noises and when you need money to cover the abhorrent expense of a new textbook; they even take your order and graciously offer to pick up takeout.

For those who are fortunate enough to have one, a dad is generally there to help.

It truly is a privilege to have a dad’s help with the logistical problems in life, but — to many a dad’s dismay — fatherhood is so much more than being a personal assistant to your kids. It means knowing basic information about them.

“Jimmy Kimmel Live!” showcased a few interviews on past Father’s Days where the interviewer asked dads basic questions about their kids. Questions centered around the color of their children’s eyes, birthdays and favorite school subjects. 

The joke was that the dads did not know the answers to these simple questions, laughing awkwardly when trying to scrounge up an answer. The look on their children’s faces when they realized their dad didn’t care enough to know simple information about them spoke volumes.

The reality is that it’s not funny. It’s disappointing.

The outdated stereotypes that perpetuate the idea of dads being the family’s breadwinners are the same ones that endorse a disconnect between a dad and his child. Dads simply aren’t expected to know their children because they’re the dads. Moms, on the other hand, like the one in the interview, are automatically expected to know that same information. 

Research reflects this. A 2015 report issued by Pew Research surveyed working mothers and fathers on how well they share parenting responsibilities. Fifty percent of dads reported spending “too little” time with their children in comparison to 39% of mothers.

Another report by Pew Research surveyed mothers and fathers on prevalent parenting topics. The survey showed that mothers report showing more concern for their children facing hardships, along with being more stressed by parenthood in general.

This piece is not meant to rip on dads completely. The saying goes: If it doesn’t apply, let it fly. If you, a father, take steps to ensure proper involvement in your child’s life, more power to you.

In fact, the same research reflects that dads spend more time with their children when it comes to play and activity during their younger years. This demonstrates that dads generally do make efforts to be involved.

The bar needs to be raised, though. When mothers are disproportionately taking the extra steps to be more present in their kids’ lives, it’s on the fathers to reflect on their lack of involvement.

And to the dads reading this and driving up to campus: It may not be too late to brush up on these facts. Some study tools may include photos of your child and their birth certificate.

Matthew is a junior in LAS.

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