Dear Editor,

Is it just me, or has the recent quality of lectures at the University degraded to incomprehensibility? As much as I loathe to say it, our prestigious university has fallen dreadfully behind. In every lecture I attend all I can see around me are students scrolling on their phones, or distracted by a game on their computer, and honestly, who can blame them? 

How can we, a modern student body, possibly be expected to focus on the professor’s lecture, without underneath them being terrible Subway Surfers gameplay or a man pointing and nodding? 

How are we supposed to believe what the professor is teaching without the annoying laughter of a man standing next to him saying, “Ha-ha so true!”?

Without the professor posting a “day in the life of a college professor” to Canvas before the lecture, there can be no student-teacher trust! 

Quite frankly, for such a clearly well-funded institution to be this out of touch with modern-day students is disgraceful. Even I was barely able to muster up the concentration to make ChatGPT write this while watching “Family Guy” clips in the background. 

Humanity is constantly evolving, and yet you, Illinois, chose to stand stubbornly against the tides of change. Empires have fallen from less complacency. Do not think a mere institution has greater immunity to the hubris of stagnation than the likes of Rome or Macedonia.

So, I stand here before you today, peering over the precipice of collapse, fist raised to the sky, asking: Where is our staged beef between classes to draw attention? Where is our giving-test-answers kindness content? Where is the next episode of Chancellor Jones’ “State of the University” podcast?

Welcome to the reel world: Your time has come, Illinois!

[email protected]

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