You will never be able to fix them. 

No matter how many times they say they will change, remember that actions speak louder than words. Take a step back, realize what is better for you in the long run and stop running back to their waiting arms. 

It is easy to return to what seems comfortable among change because change is scary. I ran back to someone for almost an entire year, even though it was detrimental to my well-being. I knew it was bad for me, but I kept going back because I was scared of something new. 

If you do not leave your comfort zone, growth will never follow. Growth can be painful and scary, but it is necessary for your development as a person. If someone is not meeting your needs regarding interdependence and independence, it might be time to say your goodbyes. 

These separations are often necessary for self-development, especially in a college setting. It could be beneficial to have a partner support you throughout your higher education endeavors. However, if they step on your toes and don’t allow you to do your own thing, it will hurt you in the long run. Independent exploration is necessary for individualism. 

As college students, we already have enough stress managing our classes, jobs, RSO positions and personal matters. And by communicating with your former partner, you’ll experience higher levels of psychological distress, according to the Journal of Research in Personality. 

We’re in college to get a degree, so snap out of it. If you keep returning to someone who is stressing you out, your academic performance will likely fall behind as you continue to fall for them. 

For me, I wasn’t focusing on school as much as I should have. I was stressed out trying to save something that was already unsalvageable. It exhausted me emotionally and physically, and while my grades did not suffer, I did. 

There is no worse feeling than someone not caring about you the way you care about them. And at that point, well, there’s no point in making them happy if you’re not. 

Put your energy somewhere useful and where it will benefit you, present and long term. Romantic relationships are not always necessary, and you must set aside time to figure yourself out as an individual. 

If you are trying to move on and have a newer relationship with someone else but are still talking to your ex, new relationship development will never happen. If individuals keep in contact with their ex-partner, their current relationship has poorer quality, according to the Journal of Research in Personality. 

First, don’t talk to your ex if you are talking to someone else. Second, you will never get anywhere with anybody else if your focus is on an ex-partner. Third, if you’re reading for other options, go back to the first.

I promise you, it will get to a point where your friends will get sick of you going back to your ex. They will grow tired of you getting hurt repeatedly and won’t know how to help you anymore, even if they want to be there to support you. 

It’s not fair to bombard your besties with your issues. If a constant back and forth with your ex affects your relationships with your friends and family, that is a sign to step back and reevaluate your priorities of who you actually want in your life.  

College is a time for self-discovery and personal development, so it’s necessary to take that time to figure out who you are. There are 8 billion people in the world. I promise you that a frat boy is not the end of the world, even if it feels like it. 

“We accept the love we think we deserve,” so stop going back to your ex and realize you deserve better. 

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