Dear freshmen men: at some point during welcome week, you are probably going to be approached by a mysterious man. This man will be buff and have that sea-salt-spray haircut that floofs up in the front.

He’s going to extend his arm and lift his chin slightly. His eyebrows will be casually low. He’s going to throw a lip-curling, pearly-white smile at you and say, “Sup bro.” 

And then this mysterious man is going to ask if you’re “rushing.” No, this is not an article defaming the stereotypical frat boy or fraternity life in general. Because, freshmen, you should say yes.  

“Rushing,” from an outsider’s perspective, is basically going to different frat parties or events — poker and basketball tournaments for example — and seeing if you like the fraternity and its members. If they like you, you may receive a “bid.”

But again, this is not an article on that. 

This is your first experience in college. Whether you like drinking or not, whether you agree with frat culture, is irrelevant. This is your ONLY first experience in college. You’re young, you’re anxious and you’re naive. Essentially, you’re in your prime.

You should go to these rush parties. You don’t have to go with the intention of joining a frat. It’s about the experience. And having fun. 

What’s the most important thing you should know going into these rush parties? As the little kid in Curb Your Enthusiasm exclaims, “Fashioooon!”

So, naturally, here is a rundown of what to and not to wear to a frat party.

Suggestion No. 1: 

Do not … DO NOT … wear nice shoes. 

I figured I would dress a little nicer for the very first rush party I attended at the Delta Chi chapter house — maybe impress some people. See result in photo.

If you plan on partying in college, you’re going to need “bar shoes.” These are a pair of cheap, gross, overworn shoes strictly for parties and bars. Basically, the shoes you used to mow your lawn with. But now you’re dancing in them. 

This will allow you to walk into class the next morning without wearing party habits on your feet. I would personally recommend a pair of black or dark blue sneakers, but some students choose the cheap white New Balance route. 

I don’t really understand this, because they instantly get mucked up. Maybe some people like subtly showing off how often they party. To each their own. 

Do not wear nice socks either. 

There will be liquid on the ground. What form of liquid it is … your guess is as good as mine. These liquids will seep through the bottoms of the tattered tennis shoes you should be wearing.

Prepare accordingly. Go with thinner socks over thicker — if they’re thicker, you’re going to be walking on mops the entire night.

Suggestion No. 2: 

Cheap graphic tees are a plus.  

Apparently graphic tees — especially the ones with a little logo on the left breast and a larger graphic on the back — are fashionable. Contrary to shoes, you can get away with wearing a nicer top, such as a polo or button-up. 

The downside to button-ups, I can say, is that they never stay buttoned! If you’re attempting a classier fashion, perhaps go with an untucked polo.

Graphic tees will help you fit in … if that’s what you’re looking to do. Pair tees and polos with khaki or jogger shorts for a classic look.

Do not wear any form of long-sleeves or pants for fall rush. It will be hot as mozzarella sticks in that basement. Also consider how loosely the drinks will be held by surrounding partiers — spillage occurs frequently.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem togas are acceptable at frat parties anymore either.

Your shirt and shorts should fall somewhere between two poles: “Would I wear this to bed?” and “Would I care if I had to trash this tomorrow?” 

Suggestion No. 3:

It’s better to be warm than look cool.

Rushing also occurs during the spring semester. Don’t be fooled, this does not mean spring weather. January and February in Chambana get windy.

During spring rush, it’s going to be Antarctica out there. But, of course, you can’t wear a coat. Pfft! That’s not stylish.

Don’t go out there in a short-sleeve shirt, for the love of Alma Mater. Layer, layer, layer. Long-sleeve under long-sleeve under long-sleeve. You can easily throw a light — or heavy — hoodie on top of those long-sleeves as well. Or a quarter-zip, if you’re a Business major.

Three shirts and a hoodie are better than one big coat, in terms of both warmth and style. Heck, wear a thermal suit under everything, no one will know. Well … maybe someone will find out. 

Suggestion No. 4: 

Be original. 

Wear something funky, something eye-popping. Wear a flamingo shirt. A banana costume. Paint something on your chest. Coat yourself in the luxurious Sex Panther cologne. 

Because why not? You can’t be a stand-out if you’re just a stand-in. I’m no expert in fashion, so I’ll let you interpret originality as you please.

Addendum: 

Many of these apply to the bars as well. Especially Joe’s and The Red Lion because … well … you’ll see. 

Maybe the transition from lawn-mowing to bar shoes is the perfect parallel for college. You go from household chores to dancing in a basement in the middle of nowhere with total strangers. Scary but exhilarating. 

I hope this helps. Have fun out there, freshmen. And, yeah, have a little too much fun.

Alex is a sophomore in LAS.

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