The ability to participate in Dads Weekend is a privilege. Not everyone gets to have their dad here on campus or even present in their lives. Not everyone could show their dads the University, or have them here for dad’s night out. The privilege to take him to a football game is taken for granted. 

My dad had this one smile that let everyone in the room know he was not interested in whatever was going on. I remember this smile at dance recitals and music practices as my dad would give me this fake, big-toothed, wide smile. He would have smiled through a football game this weekend if I had asked. 

That summer day started normally, but it would change my life dramatically. My mom wanted to go visit my dad. On the car ride to see him, I was thinking of the research paper I wanted to write. It all changed when I saw my dad. 

I knew something was off with my dad, but that’s how Alzheimer’s works — there will always be something off. The air in his nursing home room was thick and hot. It felt different, yet all the same. I understood something was wrong — I just didn’t know he was going to die that day. 

The transition from the grief-filled senior year I had to freshman year at the University has been interesting. New environments, new classes and new friends have made the grieving easier to parse. The University has been helpful to me when it comes to processing all the feelings that have come along with new absences in my life. But although I have found so much help, Dads Weekend will make that hole in my life more noticeable.

The privilege of getting to participate in Dads Weekend started at the University through Alpha Delta Phi in 1920. The tradition is aimed at showing dads what their students do at the University besides studying — bridging the gap between the student and parent college experience. 

Some events that this tradition started with are still here today, like the football game, as well as the King Dad event, where one dad is honored with a free hotel room and an invitation to the Chancellor’s tailgate. 

In a talk with a good friend of mine, she mentioned how some students were annoyed by Dads Weekend. She added that the students with dads might not understand what it’s like to go through college without one. The college experience is more stressful without that extra parent that is invited to celebrate this weekend. 

I have heard students around campus talking about how they feel annoyed that their dad is coming to see them: one even called it “invasive.” Though your dad might seem annoying, that annoyance or invasion might not be so bad. That annoyance is a privilege.

Students should take their time to connect and strengthen bonds with their dads or father figures this weekend to take advantage of that privilege. 

I might not have gotten him to be here to help me with the college experience, but he did help me whenever I needed it. When I was about 5 years old, I looked at my dad after dinner and said, “Dada, I want a donut.” My father proceeded to drive me the whole 15 miles to Royal Donut in his old pickup truck. In that moment, I did get the privilege of being that close with my dad, a donut in hand in the back of his truck. 

Mary-Audrey is a freshman in LAS.

[email protected]