“We regret to inform you”: five words no one wants to see appear in their inbox. From club applications to job interviews, all we can do as humans is try, try again and hope — hope for that green check mark, diploma, text from that one person, gold medal, 100% or even just a passing score. It’s in our DNA, and it’s all around.
Society inscribes this narrative of the constant pursuit of achievement in our self-worth, media and culture. No matter how much one loves the song “All I Do Is Win” by DJ Khaled, it’s simply not realistic. An important truth about life is that failure is essential to growth.
As that default middle school classroom poster said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” But what if you miss 100% of the shots you do take? You redirect.
In reality, what you may not realize about some of the most decorated people is their imperfect journey to that dream destination. This is the unspoken beauty of failing: It opens the doors of opportunity you hadn’t previously considered.
We often directly associate success with happiness — the notion that if one gets everything they have ever wished for, they will finally feel satisfied. However, some of the best things in life are the ones that come unplanned and initially undesired.
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Being on campus, a common stereotype among students, especially in-state students, is that the University was not their top choice of school. More often than not, there was a reach school they originally planned for, but then came deferrals, waitlists, rejections or simply pressure from parents to go with the option that made more sense — financially or geographically. These roads led to acceptance of offers elsewhere.
“For me, I just didn’t want to go to UI, because I initially wanted to get out of Illinois as fast as I could,” said Isabella Felman, senior in LAS. “I wanted to get away.”
Yet, these same students will tell you one or more years later that they could not imagine themselves anywhere else. The University offered experiences that couldn’t have been dreamed of, and people and places worth every uneasy moment of prior indecision and skepticism.
“I wouldn’t have met the same people I’ve met here, and the people are what really shape your experience, not so much the place,” Felman said. “One way or another, you are going to get to where you want to be, academically or personally. If things don’t work out, it wasn’t meant for you, and you will always make your own way as long as you work for it.”
So, the solution? Apply because you can. Apply because you might just make it, even if it takes a miracle. Apply because you might be rejected, or even better, redirected.
These concepts are not just found in academics or careers, either. They are everywhere. Missing an invite to a social function or a birthday wish from an old friend can sting. While pondering what went wrong and sulking in loneliness for hours can be comfortable, there is potential in the discomfort of the unknown.
Take the fuel of the disappointment, frustration or both, and learn to mend these feelings into friendly fire. Join clubs, talk to the girls in line for the bathroom at Joe’s Brewery, pick up the pencil someone dropped next to you in a lecture and create room for growth.
The excitement is in not knowing what will happen or who you will meet next, as these uncertain conversations and decisions could lead to lifelong friendships and memories.
In the grand scheme of life, take these moments with a grain of salt. Being told “no” holds value by teaching you how grit and perseverance can build a story. For each decision, there are unlimited outcomes; with each rejection, there are limitless possibilities.
Rejection is the proof of trying, applying, living and being human. Being perfect doesn’t result in being interesting; possessing the ability to recall a time in life when there was failure and consequential learning could land a life-changing interview or the chance to be the most interesting person in the room.
Forget the excuses, four-leaf clovers, lucky pennies and shooting stars, because greatness was never found in convenience, but rather in challenge. If all were to go according to plan, who knows what would happen if it didn’t work out?
Elizabeth is a sophomore in ACES.
